Damn the consequences
by tylee17
Summary: When Zack slowly gets over his amnesia, unaware of some flaws in his memories, he sets out to stop an assumed to be alive Ben, leaving Alec and Max to deal with the consequences of their encounter with him. Max/Alec
1. Consequences 1

**Damn the consequences**

MAX_: After all these years of waiting and wondering I guess I expected – I don't know...That finding Zack would change everything. My life would finally make sense. Pretty stupid of me, huh? I just wanted somebody that was like me. Someone I can connect with_. **411 on the DL**

* * *

"Dude, you wanna watch those hands of yours!" the guy sitting next to him at the bar said, glowering at him all the while.

"What is it to you, man? She's not here with YOU, is she?" Adam retorted, not even looking at the guy but rather resuming staring into Lena's beautiful eyes, while caressing her back with his hands. She had the most beautiful chocolate eyes he had ever seen… and he loved those tiny moments when her lashes briefly shadowed them in a downward movement and then came up again only to reveal a new shine in those beautiful eyes.

"No, but not with you either! Lena, get away from him already, will ya?"

"Frank," the girl began, looking annoyed, disentangling herself from Adam, "A: this is none of your business, and B: it is OVER between the two of us and you know that. I can do with my life whatever I want, okay? Including choosing my own company. So BACK OFF."

"Well, I would, hon, if you wouldn'da chosen a fuckin' farm hand over me, that is… I mean, come on, you just trying to get back at me for something here, are ya? Look at him!"

Adam tried to ignore the man, he really did, but it got harder by the second. He was so – ordinary. And this man had been lucky enough to be loved by this stunning girl once? Hard to believe.

He waved at the bartender, shoved some money into his already outstretched hand, for their drinks. The man nodded quickly at Adam, seemingly approving of his decision to leave.

"I think I better go now," he then announced, getting up from his stool and looking into Lena's gorgeous eyes. "Care to join me?" he asked, only briefly wondering where that had come from. Usually, he was not too good with sounding casual, or acting accordingly for that matter. In Lena's company, though, all that had come naturally.

She smiled at him and he couldn't help having this feeling again that she resembled someone he had known in the past. He sighed. Stupid amnesia. He had never managed to recover his memory after his accident. Unfortunately Buddy had not been a help, either, he had simply said that Adam just popped up on the farm one day asking for a job. "Never mentioned a word about your past, son. I figured it mightn't have been the nicest, so me and Mary, we never pressed you…"

Well, Adam would probably never know, but if it had been an unpleasant past, as Buddy had assumed, he should be glad. But he sure wouldn't have wanted to forget whoever Lena reminded him of, would he? He felt too much at home with her, too calm, too…

He couldn't contemplate the thought any farther because right then Frank got up, too, and grabbed Adam's arm hard, pushing Lena against the bar in the process. She hadn't even had a chance to answer his question, yet. He couldn't just ignore the man now, as he had planned to do.

"You heard her, Frank, back off. I do not want to hurt you," Adam hissed, fully aware that if he let this get out of hand, he might do things he would later regret.

He didn't know where his extraordinary strength originated from, had never really given it a thought as long as it just came in handy with his job. But then one day he and Buddy had been on their way to Dr. Carr back in Seattle because Buddy had insisted on bringing Adam there after he had nearly severed his arm while repairing the farm's only combine. In fact his boss – and friend – had not wanted him to see any other doctor but her about it, and Adam had been in too much pain to be very puzzled. But when they arrived at the hospital and some rude looking tech-freaks came up to them out of nowhere babbling something about "our G.I. Joe" and the price they had paid for him, even starting to grab at him, pushing Buddy around, something had just switched on in his head.

Later he couldn't quite remember what had happened, how he had managed to knock all of them out, regardless of his injured arm.

"Adrenaline, son," Buddy had stated. But Adam had known better than to believe such a tepid explanation and to this day was always very careful not to underestimate his strength, especially when it came to interacting with other people. He didn't want to hurt anyone accidentally…

But now he was seriously in danger of losing his patience as he saw Frank grin at him.

"Oh yeah?" Frank was just saying, his grin even widening now. He let go of Adam's arm eventually. "Afraid of a little hand-to-hand, farm boy? Of getting your good looks all reassembled?" he continued mockingly, raising a fist in Adam's direction.

"Frank!" Lena gasped and Adam could see her shrink further into the counter, clearly afraid.

"Guys!" the bartender shouted, "Do I have to call the cops?" But it was useless, Frank was by far too revved up already. There was no chance anyone could still talk some sense into him now. The talking part was over, or so it seemed to Adam. Even when he made one last effort to deescalate the situation by remaining impassive except for some slow backward walking, he knew it was no good.

No sooner had he resigned to give in to Frank's urge to fight it out, did he see the guy's fist come right up into his face, breaking the delicate skin of his lip. He wouldn't tolerate another swing; and he wouldn't use his own fists to stop the man. Instead, he took him by surprise and grabbed his throat in a choke-hold without missing another beat.

"Oh god…" Lena whispered, then called to him. "Adam. Adam! Please… you're choking him, you're…"

He turned his head to look at Lena, saw her staring at him wide-eyed, terrified. Something sounded off about this; and suddenly images flashed up in his mind, confusing him in their intensity.

"Adam?" he was wondering aloud at the sound of the name. He continued looking into her chocolate eyes all the while as if he might find an explanation there.

* * *

"Zack!" the girl yelled while the guy he held by his throat struggled against him, grabbing at his arm frantically. The sheen of metal covered this arm…

"Zack. It's me. It's Max" the girl said pleadingly.

He needed to process this piece of information, all the while focusing his gaze on her. He never so much as spared a second glance at the guy choking on the other end of his arm, for something about the girl kept him staring at her, transfixed. Those eyes…

"Who are you?" he demanded to know.

"Zack, it's me. Zack? Max."

Rather unexpectedly the name triggered a series of flashbacks culminating in him recognizing that name, the girl; remembering Manticore.

"You're an X5," he stated, wanting some proof, "Show me your barcode."

"Max, show it to him already," the other guy choked out, still struggling, but getting weaker.

And then she turned, exposing her bare neck to him, and he knew. She was 452, she was Max. And he dropped the other one, following her hesitantly, still too confused to process all those new memories, too confused even to quite place that other familiar voice he had heard that day…

"I'm fine," that voice was saying somewhere behind him when they were already nearly out of earshot. But he had to focus on the newly regained memories of Max, else he was afraid of losing them again, of drifting even deeper into confusion.

* * *

"Please…. Adam, he's not worth it…"

Slowly, the goings-on in the bar registered with him again. There were people backing slightly away from him, except for an old friend of Buddy's who was approaching him carefully, arms outstretched.

"Hey kid, don't make yourself miserable over Frank here…" he said, eyeing him warily but also quite sympathetically, "The guy's not worth it, you hear me? Adam."

And suddenly it clicked. Lena, the beautiful chocolate-colored eyes, an X5, his unit, Max. His unit…

"The name's Zack," he stated as a matter of fact, eventually dropping the pathetic ordinary, who slumped down on the floor, gasping for air.

Max was in his unit.

And Ben.

His brother Ben, whom he hadn't been able to locate in a long time, and who had turned out to be a serial killer, murdering innocent people. Hadn't they told him he was dead?

Everything was just a lie. He wasn't Adam, he had not worked on a farm the past three years… Ben was still alive, still at large.

Because he had failed to stop him then.

Zack wouldn't let that happen a second time. He had to go back to Seattle, to Max, hoping to find Ben still there, too.

And to stop him.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: is it even necessary at all?...

A/N: thanks to those who read the first chapter, even more to those who reviewed ( : Hope you'll like this one, too...

As I' d actually love to qualify as a beta, I better manage to write a couple more words soon, huh?

* * *

**Damn the Consequences: Chapter 2**

ZACK: What are you talking about? We can't stay together, Max. It will compromise everyone's safety. **411 on the DL**

* * *

The sound of her cell jumping to life made Max curse inwardly. Why exactly had she conceded to getting one again? It was in moments like this that she missed her dear old pager the most, moments in which – like now – she was suspended in midair, hanging from a windowsill, both hands clinging to the little concrete protrusion in an effort to be as invisible as possible, even for the guard still staring suspiciously out the window.

It didn't improve matters that the thing just wouldn't stop…

"Don't you wanna answer that?" Alec whispered from his place right next to her. "Logan sure does have a great timing sometimes…"

He was smirking, of course. And why was he so sure that it was Logan calling, anyways? Max glared at him, only causing him to grin even wider.

"Who says it's –"

"You better answer it, Max," Alec interrupted her, still whispering almost soundlessly. "Or things out here might get a little uncomfy… well, if you'd call this…"

Max rolled her eyes and tried to blank out his continuing rant; then she reached into her pants pocket to retrieve her phone.

"Go for Max."

"Max! So glad to get hold of y-"

"Logan, hey. Listen, Gotta call you back, okay?" she said and couldn't help turning her head just to face Alec's smartass grin. 'Don't even start,' she mouthed at him, grabbing the windowsill harder with her one free hand.

"No, Max, wait, this is really –"

"Later," she cut in and hung up on him, stuffing the cell back into her pocket.

"So, what is it with you and the Log, huh?" Alec asked conversationally while lifting himself up slightly to peek into the room they had been searching previously. The guard was nowhere to be heard or seen, and Alec managed to give Max a sign indicating they were clear again.

Max sighed. How could this man have undergone Manticore's more than thorough military training and now be chatting along on a mission as if he didn't have a care in the world?

"Alec, is there a button I'd need to switch on for you to swap into soldier-mode again?" she wondered aloud, and was met with another wide grin.

"Come on. This should be easy now. We're nearly done searching the whole damn building. We got the disk with the construction details, we found the prototype. The C4 is in place. Now we only need to get back in and finish the job, right? So why not make a little conversation in the meantime? You're always so uptight, Max."

"Yeah, whatever," she retorted angrily and got in through the window ahead of him.

* * *

They had eventually found out where the government had developed, constructed, and produced those awful thermal imagers that enabled both sector cops and the military to identify transgenics effortlessly. Even the X5s, who otherwise appeared to be perfectly normal by the ordinaries' standards and had managed to blend in with the crowds in the past, could no longer do so because they just couldn't hide their higher average basal body temperature from those merciless detectors.

It wasn't enough that the transgenics were already mostly confined to the grounds of Terminal City. No, the methodical manhunt, the persecution on the outside was still thriving, promoted by the government with their plan of producing the thermal imager on a larger scale soon.

The transgenics wouldn't let that happen. They mightn't have figured out yet, how to get out of the situation Manticore's downfall had landed them in. But they were soldiers nonetheless, and they wouldn't tolerate to be held captive in TC just because of the nationwide distribution of the thermal imager. They had been through enough already; this was just not going to happen…

Destroying all data on the subject, plus most of the imagers themselves, destroying the whole government-issue building in which the transgenic manhunt had been targeted these past days would strike the Anti-Transgenic-Movement a heavy blow.

And that was at least a start…

* * *

"So, you two finally back to _we're not like that_, then?" Alec looked at Max curiously while they were waiting behind a wall for the sound of the first detonation that was supposed to make all remaining personnel leave the building unharmed before the real explosions hit.

"Alec!" Max gasped, exasperated.

"What? I'm just asking. I mean, you were basically drooling over each other whenever you guys only so much as saw each other– regardless of my poor hurt boyfriend-feelings, if I may add – and I thought –"

"Will you stop it?!"

"Aw, Max! Sure you guys MUST have settled the matter – after that cute little hand-holding and – "

No way was she going to listen to this any longer. She felt her cheeks start to burn – and what's with that? She was X5 goddammit, she could control her body like a machine; she had not even forgotten her true personality when in psy-ops. And now she was standing here, waiting for a mission to be accomplished, having to endure this – idiot – talking about her relationship with Logan, and she was REDDENING?

"_Friends_ do that, Alec. And now shut it. – Duck!" she then exclaimed, as the shock wave of the second detonation hit them full-on.

Alec merely dusted off his jacket casually and turned to face her again.

"Yeah, sure… But I would have thought…"

"Don't think, Alec. You might hurt yourself. – Plus, that virus-bitch is still around, nothing's changed there…" she added in a small voice, suddenly looking at him tiredly.

She expected a smart comment from him and hurried to say, "And I told you before: me and Logan are none of your business. Besides, weren't you the one telling me that we are a danger to them?"

Another explosion went off, drowning out all other sounds, and the commotion ensuing in front of the building showed them that everyone within the premises of the building had seemingly got out safely. Time to go.

Max looked at her partner in crime and gave him the sign.

* * *

Only later, already in the sewers leading back into Terminal City, did Max notice how quiet Alec had become. He hadn't said another word since their unobserved escape from the site of destruction, and she couldn't help but wonder what was wrong with him all of a sudden. Alec was always talking. Always.

Well, no. She knew that wasn't true.

She kept glancing at him as he was walking beside her, face set in an unreadable expression. Silently.

Okay, she thought. She knew they both weren't too good at this, at talking seriously without at some time relapsing into the usual banter. So she just plain said: "Alec, what's the matter _now_?" scowling at him, or rather: scowling at herself. He had grown on her, she _did_ care. So why couldn't she let that creep into her tone of voice instead of sounding pissed off?

She could already hear him say "What did I do this time, huh? Can't you just lay off this once?" Or something along those lines…

But he surprised her with a small smile. Not a smirk, a smile.

"Max…." he said, slowing his pace a bit and she scrunched up her face as he stared at her.

"Do you love him, Max?"

What? Was that what had made him so uptight all of a sudden? Contemplating her feelings for Logan? She wanted to say 'What's it to you,' but something told her not to, so she answered him sincerely.

"Yeah. – But it's not that easy –"

"What's not easy about two people being in love with each other. And don't even start with that virus. You love him, he – obviously – loves you, there's nothing complicated about that."

He looked at her, lips tightly shut now, as if he wished he hadn't said anything.

Max was stunned and began feeling a bit awkward. When exactly had this turned from a night out on a mission with smart-Alec into this all-serious-sounding confrontation about her relationship with Logan?

A thought entered her head, and her mouth, once more, was too quick for her own good, when she suddenly exclaimed: "Oh god, please say this is not about you being in love with me all of a sudden!"

The puzzled expression on his face, immediately followed by a genuine outburst of laughter, made her instantly regret what she had assumed in a weak moment.

"Aw, you're kidding me, Max! Now that's cute! Can't a _friend_" and he stretched that last word mockingly, "be concerned about another friend's feelings, huh?" He was still chuckling when she shot him a killing glance.

"Oh, whatever, Alec… I was only wondering why you had turned all brooding on me from one minute to the next, alright?"

They had nearly reached TC by then, and Alec abruptly halted. There was no more trace of that amusement on his features as he looked her directly in the eyes. The change had been so sudden that it startled Max into retreating from him slightly.

"You know, I've said this before to… someone: thing is, we're living on borrowed time, see? And if you don't go after what your heart craves and _damn_ the consequences…" he faltered for a moment, "If _I _loved someone, Max, I'd tell them… - yeah, even if they were an ordinary… You've gotta live what life you get."

His voice had nearly turned into a whisper, sounding so tired, so unsettlingly sad, that it pained Max even more to listen to his words.

"Alec," she hardly more than mouthed, lightly touching his arm. He didn't shrug it off…

"Tell him, Maxie; tell him that you're scared, but tell him nonetheless. Don't waste precious time we mightn't have. Others never got the chance… Annie and Josh – "

She saw his jaw clench as he bit down hard instead of saying the name that sure had been on his mind for a while by then. She wanted to hug him, but knew that she shouldn't. They were not like that, she thought, and a small, sad smile crossed her face at the words her mind had chosen.

She tightened her grip on his arm momentarily, then let go.

"Okay…" she said quietly, and smiled her sad smile until Alec's face lit up again in one of his trademark smirks so quickly it disconcerted her to watch.

"Better call the poor guy back finally, huh? He's probably already sent out rescue troops searching for you by now…"

Oh god, she had totally forgotten Logan had called earlier. Better check why he'd done so right away, it had sounded somewhat urgent after all.

She flipped her cell open in one smooth movement while Alec casually leaned with his back against the wall, waiting.

* * *

"God, Max! You all right?" Logan exclaimed almost immediately after she'd punched in the last digit of his number.

"Yeah; everything worked out just fine. Listen, sorry I didn't get back to you earl-"

"S' alright. Max, we gotta meet asap, okay?" Logan interrupted her, his voice even more pressing than before.

"Logan, what is it?"

"You remember Buddy?"

Max didn't have to think long to remember the man.

"Your friend, who helped Zack – "

"Yeah, right. Max? He just called me."

Max kind of anticipated what was coming, but somehow the thoughts just wouldn't connect…

"Zack has left the farm…"

* * *

A/N 2: so... not much Zack in this one, needed to bring in M/A, though... I know, I'm not too good at writing them, hope you guys enjoyed it anyways... (if not, help appreciated...) ( :


	3. Chapter 3

**Damn the consequences: Chapter 3**

**Disclaimer: **_smacks forehead_ ...uh, yeah, right. I totally forgot… _runs off to production studios_ …………... huh! Would any of us be writing fanfiction then?

**A/N: **Okay, not too satisfied with this one (either, I might add). And I'm not quite sure where I'm headed with this, but we'll see…. I post it today rather than later as a special thanks for all those of you having been so sweet to review, and for all those of you who read this so far.

* * *

"Sorry, dude. I understand why you'd be wantin' that kinda gun in days like these. Man, with those fuckin' freaks croppin' up all over the place, an honest man's gotta protect his own…," the shop owner said loudly, shaking his head in pure-felt sympathy. "But, see, they won't even letcha get close to th' city with that on ya. No chance. Shoulda think they'da welcome any sorta help in getting' rid a those monsters, but no… How 'bout you gettin' one a these instead, huh?"

He pointed to a standard kind of shotgun that Zack had seen Buddy use for shooting rabbits on his little Sunday outings. Not _his_ kind of weapon. What he was going to hunt down required more effective arms. It had to be the other one, the one that would enable him to kill swiftly, effectively, mercifully…

The X5 checked the name embroidered on the guy's hunting-style vest and leaned over the counter in a slow, unintimidating movement, thus bringing his head so close that his lips nearly brushed the other's ear.

"Well, Leo," he whispered, "As it is, one of the… _freaks_ stole my girl." He paused shortly, taking in the man's shocked and sympathetic expression at this statement, then continued in a more conspiratorial tone, "One of _those_, Leo, with one of _us_. _My_ girl. This has got to have consequences, don't you think? Help me or not, I will find a way to take revenge on this thing and I will need the best firearm I can get for that."

He made as if to leave, knowing with absolute certainty that he wouldn't have to take more than a few steps toward the door.

As on cue, Leo exclaimed a somewhat desperate sounding "Wait," surely arguing with himself about what he was going to do.

Zack's face was still set in a deadpan look as he turned to the fidgeting man again.

"I know she's a small babe, but… how ya gonna smuggle her past those cops patrolling the perimeter fence, huh? Dudes all have those weapon detectors on 'em, you forgot?" He looked at his customer sternly, still not quite willing to part with the handgun. But he felt for the poor kid. Just considering the _possibility_ of his Candace hooking up with one of those goddammit freaks made his stomach turn. He sure as hell would kill the bastard with his own two hands.

"Let getting into the city be my business, okay? I have my ways…"

Zack felt himself begin to grow impatient. Things didn't happen because you talked about them, but because you _did_ them.

What was it with those ordinaries and their need to talk everything over? It irritated him no end, and he knew that he had wondered about that urge to talk rather than act before…

But it was hopeless, the return of his memory was still too fragmentary, too incomplete for him to place that near-recollection with any specific experience, or any specific person.

Right then Leo said hesitantly, "Yeah." Something about the kid's strange attitude – no real exasperation, no display of hurt feelings, that sort of things – had started to unsettle him. Just a bit…

"Shouldn'tcha better use a high-powered rifle on them, though? Wouldn't wanna get too close to those bastards, right? I have an M40A1 here, just got it in…. Sorta. …. Great sniper rifle, that. Sure is damn effective, 'n ya could just shoot'em freaks without lettin' 'em so much as hear ya do it."

Zack sighed. "It's not them, it's _him_. And I don't have time for this."

And with that said he blurred over the counter, broke the safety glass that protected the weapons from unauthorized retrieval with one punch of his fist, and grabbed the pistol he had wanted all along, by doing so startling the ordinary into backing away and staring at him open-mouthed. Zack nearly felt sorry for the guy as he stood there, his world shattered now that he had realized he had been talking to one of the "freaks" all along.

But Zack's mission urged him onward, and with one last glance at Leo he blurred out of the shop to the parking lot. He needed to get to Seattle as fast as possible, only too aware of all the weeks that had passed since he had let his brother escape.

Not remembering who he was at the time did not qualify as an excuse. By now Ben had already had too much time on his hands to leave the city and continue killing people all over the country.

Zack couldn't let more precious time pass and so he had even gone as far as stealing Buddy's red pickup truck, having felt a pang of guilt for doing this to the man who had treated him so kindly all those weeks. He hadn't even said so much as goodbye, hadn't left a message for the guy and his wife.

Buddy had been like a father to him. And as "Adam" the X5 had finally learned what that meant…

When Zack reached the car and sat down on the driver's seat, his newly acquired handgun balanced in his lap, he tried to piece together the few bits of memory he had regained of his brief encounter with Ben, but it all didn't seem to add up.

Why had he attacked his brother although he hadn't known who he was then? Why had Max been there? Why hadn't he remembered _her_ at first? It didn't help that there were still so many gaps in his memory. They merely left him more confused than before, when at least he had known he was Adam; …with all the conviction a man with amnesia could have.

No time for contemplations like that, either. It was not important what happened to _him_, this was all about taking care of his siblings. And now Ben needed him. He had to find him before someone else did, before the cops or the military, or some enraged ordinary eventually got to him.

Ben deserved better than to be shot from a distance, not knowing what had befallen him. He deserved to see the familiar face of a sibling and to not be alone in dying…

* * *

Back in the shop, Leo had been too stunned to make even one single move. Somewhat dumbly he yelled after the transgenic.

"Uh… Just ya make sure ya remember it's a semi-automatic, dude!"

But of course the transgenic had already vanished from view by then.

"Fuckin' hell!" Leo mumbled, and added loudly, "He's one a them! I been talkin' to a damn freak the whole time! Shi-it!"

* * *

Logan frowned as two transgenics barged into his – Joshua's – house without so much as a knock on the door or at least a curt nod of acknowledgment.

"What happened? Where is he?" Max immediately demanded to know, her eyes fixed on Logan's face.

"Hallo, Max," he greeted and looked sideways at the other transgenic who had accompanied her. "Alec."

"Logan," Alec acknowledged the other man and made a face, his eyes pointing warningly in Max's direction.

Logan couldn't help but feel a little irritated at her bringing along her constant companion of the last couple weeks. Hadn't she complained about him almost constantly in the past? And then, all of a sudden, there had been that awkward moment when he had seen her and Alec… The way the other one had put his arm around Max's shoulders in a half-hug casually.

It had looked so naturally intimate.

In an attempt at concentrating back on the situation at hand, he told them what little had transpired in his phone-conversation with Buddy. "Um. Yeah, well. As it is, Zack seems to have regained at least some parts of his memory." He stated, focusing his gaze on Max while speaking. After all, it was _her_ brother, and _she_ had been the one involved in saving Logan by sacrificing Zack. _She_ was the one who cared about him, who would eventually have to deal with the whole damn affair once more. It was a thing they had been through together, Max and Logan…

So why was Alec here?

'Stop it,' he thought, reminding himself of the precarious conditions out there in which the transgenics were caught. She couldn't possibly have come to him alone. Too dangerous. And of course she couldn't have brought Josh for company. The big fella was just too…extraordinary looking to go unnoticed, especially in times like these in which everyone suspected their fellow citizens of being "one of them freaks."

"Logan!" Max exclaimed, when she noticed he had been lost in thought. Now, of all times… "Zack?" she prompted, waiting for more information.

"Right. Sorry. Apparently, there has been an incident at a bar-"

Alec smirked at that and said, "Seems the guy eventually learned to enjoy himself after all, huh?" Which earned him a punch to the shoulder by his fellow X5. "Ow. I was just saying..."

"Don't," she muttered under her breath and glowered at him before returning her attention to Logan.

Logan talked on as if he hadn't noticed the little scene, "Some confrontation with a local about a girl – "

"Always that…," Alec remarked because he just couldn't help it. When Max looked at him again, though, her face only wearing a mask of worry and not showing any signs of being infuriated by his words, he regretted having opened his wide mouth. He knew how much she cared for her… siblings. Even though he still hadn't quite grasped that whole concept of a unit regarding themselves as family, he at least knew what it meant to care for someone with all conviction. He grimaced at her apologetically, then lowered his head slightly and examined the floor in an attempt at preventing himself from uttering more such crap.

Logan, who had watched the other two closely, furrowed his brow and turned from Alec back to Max. He had to force himself once again to ignore the feeling that something about their whole "relationship" seemed a little off. But then, who was he to judge? Hadn't his _never-quite-was-one_ relationship with Max also seemed somewhat like that? And he knew for sure that _he_ had always loved her. Still did. _Okay_…

"Buddy called to let me know that Adam – Zack – has left the farm sometime last night. He didn't leave any traces, didn't say where he was headed. Nothing…. Stole Buddy's car, too. Max…. the last one who saw him, a friend of Buddy's," this was not easy for him to say, so he just decided to get it over with quickly, "He said your brother nearly choked that local. And before Zack left the bar the man heard him say…. well, as I was saying, seems like he's regained his memory, Max. Anyway, he at least remembers his true name."

Max gasped audibly. Her eyes widening, she made as if to grab Logan by the arm, only remembering the virus when he backed away warily. She just stared at him then, her hand still in midair.

Oh god. How could she have forgotten…It had always been him that was more careless about the virus, and she had been the one to insist on a safe distance.

It only half registered with her when Alec gently took her hand in his and gave it a reassuring squeeze, before using mild force to make her lower her still outstretched arm again.

"Max," he spoke softly into her ear, not aware of how intimate this gesture looked to the ordinary, who stood there, taking them in silently.

"Max…. just let's go, alright? We better go and find your runaway bro before he starts going off the deep end again, shall we? We wouldn't want to see poor Logan here with a third eye, now would we? I mean…, that'd give the name _Eyes Only_ a whole new meaning, huh?" Alec said jokingly, trying to ease the peculiar tension that had so abruptly entered the room.

And it seemed to work. Gladly he detected the first hints of an upcoming huff in Max's pretty features.

And he didn't have to wait long for her to say his name in this special tone of hers, always reserved for him, and for him alone.

"Alec!"

"Sorry," he mouthed, not feeling sorry in the least. Good that she was back to normal again. He couldn't bear her being so upset. It… just didn't feel right.

How did Alec manage that, Logan wondered. Humoring Max by teasing her. It had never been like that with him and her, and it upset him to realize this now.

Ugh! Stop. It. He told himself once again, although he knew he wouldn't be able to.

"But we don't even know what exactly he remembers. Does he remember anything about Manticore; about us? Maybe… Oh god, Logan, what if he remembers whatever has made him go after you, this cranial implant is still inside his head, right? – Better lay low until we found him, okay? I'll tell some of the others to go check on you every once in a while, to make sure you're safe" Max said worriedly, getting more and more restless by the minute.

God, how Logan hated to be considered the weak ordinary, the victim; not strong enough to defend himself. Hadn't he shown her that he could fend for himself? Hadn't he even saved her damn Alec – genetically-engineered, mind you – that day during the Jam Pony incident?

Logan sighed heavily. "Max, we don't know that. Sam – Dr. Carr – wasn't even too sure about whether the thing really survived it when you sent that shock jolting through Zack. He – "

"He said it's a pretty safe bet that, sooner or later, the whole fucking thing'll happen again, Logan. I remember him saying it, word for word, okay? – Minus the swearing, but still… Don't try to act brave on my behalf, alright? I don't need that. I just need you to LAY LOW. Understand? I – I can't afford to lose you, okay?"

Logan looked at her, baffled. From the corner of his eye he saw Alec smiling – actually smiling a warm smile.

"Uh, Max…"

Her chin had started to wobble and she was dangerously close to shedding some actual tears. She couldn't lose him. It was just that he was Logan. Her one link to the normal girl life she still dreamed of living one day, right?

Right?

And then there was Zack, and she didn't know what she was to do about him. She loved him so much. What was she supposed to do now? Where was she to look for him? And what then?

She just couldn't bear to lose another sibling. Couldn't bear to kill another beloved brother.

It was all so much. Too much to cope with.

Not able to say any more to Logan, and not waiting for him to reply, she suddenly blurred out of the house, out into the night, trying to leave everything behind.

* * *

Only when she had already been a long way down the dark rain-glistening streets into the center of the city, did she suddenly feel the presence of someone else behind her and tensed. It had been so, so stupid to walk down the streets in a city that had actual freak vigilantes patrolling the streets…

She closed her eyes briefly, bracing herself for what was to come. Then she turned around in a blur…

**A/N 2: **righty, hopefully it's going to get a little more interesting in the next part… As always: grateful for any kinds of suggestions, whatever. Thanks for reading, guys! ... And don't worry, I am not into reading much (if any) ML, so do you really think I would be writing it? (if so, re-read the lines more closely...) (:


	4. Chapter 4

**Damn the consequences: Chapter 4**

**Disclaimer:** Writing this between shooting scenes for season three….. um…. Alright. Not true.

**A/N: **yeah well, as I promised some of you a quick update, here we are again…. thanks so much for the thoughts you put into your reviews, I totally appreciated them all (:

* * *

_She closed her eyes briefly, bracing herself for what was to come. Then she turned around in a blur…_

… She only saw as much as a hooded figure that had stopped in their tracks when she had. But she didn't really need to see more. Max's face was known throughout town, it had involuntarily become _the_ face of the "Freak Nation," and she had been stupid enough to show it in public.

She was alone, didn't carry any sort of weapon, as still she refused to do after all this time, and thus solely relied on her own transgenic strength. Hence she didn't wait for the stranger to strike the first blow or even so much as open their mouth, but instead whirled herself up into the air in a high jump and kicked her foot out at the unsuspecting other.

With a grunt the man – for she could see now that it was a man – landed on his back, the hood sliding slightly off to reveal his face.

Max breathed in audibly…

* * *

Zack had decided to go find Max first as she might be able to explain what had happened to him, the whole Adam-business.

And why Ben had been with her.

His baby sister's predictability did have its upsides now that he needed to see her so desperately. The memory of her being kind of glued to Seattle for one reason or another had popped up in his head when he had tried to devise a plan for seeking her out. Something about a guy, too, but he didn't quite recollect a name, or a face.

He was sure to still find her there; and maybe even Ben. After all, he knew Maxie, she had always wanted to find all of her siblings; and with her, it didn't seem too far-fetched that she 

had actually persuaded one of them to stay close to her. Even if it was only to prevent him from killing more people.

It was Ben, after all, his little brother who had never managed to adapt to life outside of Manticore's restrictive boundaries. He was probably glad about any kind of guidance or rules Maxie could provide.

At that instant a severe flash of white-hot pain shot through his head, and his hand reached up to his temple to press down hard on it in an effort to ease off the ensuing throbbing sensation. He had to park the pickup on the curb for a couple minutes, before eventually feeling safe enough to go on driving.

Too many bits and pieces of memory connecting in there, he thought, too many stimuli in too short a time for his brain to process without causing him a bad case of headache. Although, of course, pain didn't register with brain tissue…

"Figure of speech."

Zack looked at his reflection in the car's rearview mirror, trying out a lopsided grin over this last statement, which he had uttered aloud. Since when did Manticore's well-engineered creations talk to themselves, huh?

But then, since when did they turn out to be serial killers rather than trained assassins?

Zack swallowed hard. He didn't want to think about what he was going to do, what he _had_ to do. He tightened his grip on the steering wheel momentarily, forcing deep marks into its fake leather coating.

He was nearly there now, as close to Seattle as he was going to drive by car. A while ago he had decided to leave the vehicle well out of range of the city's outer perimeter, for he knew it wasn't quite the inconspicuous ride a soldier needed to get past the sector checkpoints unheeded.

Plus, if Ben was no longer anywhere close by, as Zack assumed was most likely the case, he would need the car to be intact – and not stolen – in order to resume his search.

When at last he parked some miles off the road in a small area covered with brush, he got out, camouflaged the red color as best as possible and continued his way on foot.

* * *

"Purpose of your stay, son?" the sector cop asked with a glance at the blond farm boy in front of him. He sure looked the type, he thought, all muscles and dumb stare. Although he had made an attempt at blending in with the townsfolk….

And sure enough, Zack _had_ changed out of his usual farm attire – what had been usual to Adam, he amended – into something more suitable at the first opportunity. Therefore he now stood in front of the police officer wearing a standard grey T-shirt underneath a black leather jacket he had zipped up to his throat.

He had just explained to the other man that he worked on one of the farms not too far away, his experiences on Buddy's ranch proving to be invaluable in providing him with a whole pool of information on farm life and thus enabling him to come across as a quite authentic farm hand.

Life indeed was a good school for that sort of thing, and Zack was sure Manticore could have never drilled him more perfectly for this role than Buddy.

He found himself missing the guy already…

"It's my day off, Sir," he answered quickly, not wanting to keep the officer waiting any longer.

The man nodded. "Uh huh. Just make sure to stay away from TC then, alright?"

The boy gave him a blank stare and the officer furrowed his brow in disbelief. Surely they had heard of TC even in his parts of the sticks, right? _Anyone_ had heard about Freak Nation, that state existing of so-called transgenics – monsters, if labeling them were up to him, and that, unfortunately, had to be situated in Seattle of all places– in his hometown.

Of course his position as civil servant, working for the government, prevented him from using any derogatory words in explaining that place to the poor kid, so instead he tapped his bat against a poster hanging from a nearby wall. It pictured one of them, a creature with both human and canine features and an unkempt long mane more than vaguely reminiscent of a dog's shaggy fur; and it had become one of the most famous pictures of the whole freak issue.

Then he looked at Zack again. "Do you see _this_? That's what's in Terminal City these days. There the transgenics established what's known as Freak Nation in these parts of the country. Even more dangerous than the toxic environment there. So wherever the night may take you, beware of that place, you hear me? A good kid like you wouldn't want to get too close to them." With that said, the cop gave him a nod and motioned for him to pass.

"Thanks for the warning, Sir," Zack whispered, wondering what had led to the establishment of such a thing as this Terminal City. What had happened to good old "Scatter and go to ground?"

"You will need this," the cop interrupted his musings and handed him a sector pass. "For visitors. You'll have to have handed it back in again by noon tomorrow. Enjoy your stay."

"Thank you, Sir."

This whole new development made Zack's search for Max profoundly easier as a place like Terminal City seemed to be the perfect area to look for her; because where else would he find her if not among her fellow transgenics, right in the middle of this "Freak Nation?"

Therefore he asked the next best passerby where exactly TC was to be found, "just so I can make sure I don't end up anywhere near it," he stated. And after having gotten directions to the place, he got on his way and headed down the poorly lit streets, handgun never far from reach…

* * *

"Ouch, Max. You definitely know how to get a guy to lie on his back. All you would have needed to do was ask, though. I'd even have arranged some flowers, romantic candle light, the whole rigmarole, as the saying goes…"

"Shut up, Alec. – What in god's name were you doing following me, huh? I could have… shot you or something…"

His face broke into a smirk, as he got up with cat-like grace and brushed some dirt off of the back of his jacket and pants.

"Oh?" he then asked, squinting his eyes. "With what? Your little magic shooting finger?" He adjusted his jacket and put on the hood once more. "Aaaand, shouldn't the question rather be: what the hell were _you_ doing? Running out of Josh- Logan's place like that all by yourself? You forgot that the whole fuckin' town is trying to hunt us down? That your pretty face has by now decorated the front pages of every newspaper in this whole fuckin' state? We're not talking _New World Weekly_ here, Max!"

Max was momentarily rendered speechless by the vehemence of his outburst. She hadn't really anticipated him saying anything along those lines. He was right of course. And she hated it when he was right.

"Come on, let's go already."

She sighed, then bit her lip, staring hard at Alec. God, she so didn't want to say this…. Not to him, anyways. It would be like admitting her own weakness.

Alec stopped in his tracks when he realized she wasn't following him, and turned around to face her. He arched his eyebrows up and looked at her questioningly.

"Alec," she said in a small voice, her arms slack at her sides. She stood there, not daring to meet his gaze. "I – can't go back in there. – I…. couldn't say it, you know – what you said earlier…. It's…. the words just wouldn't get out….," she faltered, "I can't face him right now…"

Alec cocked his head slightly, then took a few steps back toward her and with one arm pulled her close in a half-hug. With his free hand he tousled her hair affectionately and whispered, "S' alright, Max…"

Any day but today she'd have kicked his ass big time for treating her this way. But right now… It was like that night when she had told him about Ben… It felt so good, just to be able to let go, to not be the stronger one for once.

"Already told our little hacker friend that we'd be heading straight back to Command as soon as I found you…. Just need to call him back real quick, tell him you're all right, okay?" When she stared at him blankly, he added nonchalantly, "Yeah, me and the Log, we're like _this_." He crossed his fingers, "Even looking out for each other's girls…"

At that Max hit him lightly over the head and disentangled herself from his light grip. "Right. And your girl would be who?" she teased and followed him down the road, his chuckle filling her ears.

But he really did call Logan, muttered a few words into his cell, and flipped it closed after not more than thirty seconds. After all Alec sympathized with the guy's desire to know that Max was safe.

"Let's get down into my second home the sewers alrea- dy….." His sentence died on his lips when Max, now walking alongside him, suddenly grabbed his arm and hissed. He stared at her dumbly, before averting his eyes to follow the direction of her gaze.

"Zack!" she exclaimed, sudden excitement momentarily making her forget all the worries his disappearance from the farm had caused her. There he was, her beloved big brother. She could see it in his eyes, he truly _was_ Zack again. God, how she had missed him.

Alec looked at the other man dumbfounded. When he had finally found his voice again, all he could say was, "Well, if this ain't party boy…"

* * *

"Max?" Zack said, stopping only a few feet away from his sister. He wasn't quite prepared for meeting her here. He had expected to find her closer to the TC region, not out on the streets like this, exposed.

Hell, had she never learned anything from him? She should have opted for the tunnels underneath the city, the sewers that would have hidden her from view, protected her. He was about to reprimand Maxie when the guy next to her made a sideways movement that allowed the dim light of one of the street lamps to illuminate his hooded features briefly.

Zack stifled a gasp. It was Ben.

He had found them both, and in such a short time. He tried to repress his loving feelings for his siblings for it would only make things harder to bear; but he didn't quite succeed.

A horrible feeling was tearing at his heart already.

If he didn't get this over with right now, he never would. And he knew he couldn't let that happen. It was too late for Ben. There was no absolution for what he'd done, and even though Zack desperately wanted to let him go he knew he couldn't. He was responsible for him. For all of them. He had always looked out for them. It was his job.

And they counted on him to do the right thing…

"Maxie…." he whispered, feeling overwhelmingly tired, and walked a few steps, meeting her halfway. Her tiny hands on his back felt so good, so reassuring….

Eventually he broke the embrace and headed over to his brother. To say goodbye….

* * *

Alec was a little put off by Max's weird brother suddenly grabbing him in a bear hug like he knew no morning, almost crunching Alec's ribs.

"Whoa, easy now, buddy," he said, trying to shove the other away. He did not like to be hugged like this. Not by a total stranger anyways. At least if it was a guy.

Only when he heard the guy mumble an "I'm sorry, Ben. I should have been there for you," did Alec actually start to get worried.

Shit, he thought, what's this supposed to mean? And he called out, "Not the one, okay? So you better let go – or you'll be sorry….. _honestly_, man."

"Zack?" he heard Max's worried voice as he struggled to break free. "Zack, this is not Ben, okay? It's not him. Zack. Let him go, please? Zack?"

The questioning tone didn't really help in making Alec feel any more comfortable and although Max would sure as hell kick his ass for it later, he started to strike some heavy blows at her brother's head. Then the guy suddenly grabbed him by the throat.

I'm having some déjà vu here, he thought bitterly and fought even more desperately.

Shit, how could it be so damn hard for him to hold his own against stupid Zack? Alec wondered, before realization finally dawned on him: fucking great combination, transgenic and cybernetic superpowers…

* * *

"Zack, listen to me. This is Alec. Not Ben. Ben's dead, alright? I…." Max stammered, trying to break her brother's hold on Alec.

And she had thought the worst that could happen was that Zack would go after Logan again….

Ben's twin was just about to eventually break free, when Max saw something dark shining up in Zack's other hand.

She immediately knew what it was. Her old panic at the sight of this kind of steel made her flinch, but she blurred into action nonetheless, trying to prevent the worst from happening.

Already she heard a shot echo through the air, then Alec's high-pitched scream…..

* * *

**A/N 2: **Aw, I know, I'm being mean….. but aren't we all little suckers for hurt!alec? (:


	5. Chapter 5

**Damn the consequences: Chapter 5**

**Disclaimer: **I borrowed some lines from _Hello, Goodbye_ down below, but everyone'll know that THEY ARE NOT MINE. So, no infringement intended, blah blah…

**A/N: **…. This was a tough one. It was basically _delete or submit_. I opted for the latter…

* * *

MAX: _They say you can't raise the dead. But sometimes, if you're prepared to go through a little bit of hell, maybe you can… _**Haven**

* * *

…

"Alec!" Zack heard Max cry out in panic, and there was this finality to her voice, to the way she said the name, that all at once he knew he had been mistaken…

With a transgenic's speed she had sprinted to him, her fingers had grabbed at the handgun in his hand… but it had been too late, he had already pulled the trigger by then…

What have I done? Zack asked himself in desperate shock, and his gaze wandered upwards to the sickly orange sky overhead as he sank to his knees.

* * *

_Flashback:_

Alec stood there, in her apartment, unsure whether it was a wise move to broach the subject of his twin. He wasn't stupid; of course he'd always suspected that having him around had been hard for Max. But he'd never really been inclined to talk about "Ben" before. Not with her, nor with anyone else for that matter. Not ever again.

He had been through enough already because of his twin. Not only had X5-493 turned traitor on Manticore – well, as Alec had seen it back then, as they had _made_ him see it. But no, that had not been all. 493 had also gone off the deep end. And thanks to their shared genetic make-up Manticore had made Alec pay for it. Major.

Psy-Ops hadn't sucked any less the more they had sent him there. Quite the opposite…

Alec sighed, brushing off unpleasant memories and daring to speak out, "Listen, since we're already knee-deep in painful subjects… tell me about him. About Ben," he said softly and listened as she spoke.

He had done it solely for her benefit, asking about her wayward brother, because he simply knew that she needed someone to share her pain with. That look she had given him when he'd told her why the police had arrested him… He'd never forget it. So sad and desperate, so… lost; the usual Max-like flicker in her eyes all gone.

"I killed him," she eventually confessed now, and he couldn't help but feel a little surprised, shocked even, as she was Max after all. But he understood why she had done it, and why Ben had begged her to do it.

Salvation.

Sometimes he wished for it, too. Only sometimes…

He watched as tears ran down her beautiful face, then moved closer and gently put an arm around her rigid shoulders, kissing the top of her hair.

"Max, I'm sorry," he whispered compassionately and held her close to him until the tension of her body eased off eventually.

* * *

Just. Breathe. Alec told himself, staring up into the starless night…

* * *

_Flashback:_

Max and Alec stood in front of her apartment, gazing at each other a bit shyly after the shared closeness of the bygone night. She felt a little awkward after having cried her heart out over Ben in front of him. She usually wasn't one for moping so openly in front of others….

But Alec was X5 like she was, he had been there. He understood, better than anyone else. And although she couldn't quite explain to herself how it had happened, she didn't mind that she'd told him everything. In a way he had had a right to know…

"Must be hard, huh?" he was asking at that moment, "Having me around? Some guy with Ben's face, making you think about things you'd rather forget?"

A small smile emerged on her face at that. Sometimes he amazed her. Usually he pissed her off big time with all the stunts he pulled, all the stupid kidding around, the way he constantly put himself in danger, leaving her to save his sorry ass every single time. But occasionally, and all of a sudden, he could be this sweet and caring guy…

"Yeah," she answered at last, "That's probably why I'm such a bitch to you sometimes."

"Maybe."

It was a perfect cue for some smart-ass remark, but instead of teasing her about the "bitch," going on about whether he wouldn't choose a stronger word to describe her always lashing out at him, he merely got a little closer, put his arm around her casually, and said:

"Or, you know, maybe 'cause I'm such a pain in the ass sometimes…"

Eventually, he let go of Max again and walked away, leaving her still smiling. He was a good guy after all.

"Be careful", she called after him, and she saw the corners of his mouth twitch upward in a typical smirk.

"Always."

* * *

...but sometimes… maybe you can…

* * *

Zack put both hands to his head in a gesture of utter despair, praying to whatever god there was that the guy – his brother's clone, or twin, or whatnot – was going to be okay.

Oh god, why hadn't he known?

He had only meant to make things better for Ben, it had been intended as an act of mercy, for it was more than certain that they'd eventually have caught his brother, and then….

Oh, please…

He couldn't move and remained on his knees, staring over at where Max was tending to the other X5 now.

"Shit, Zack! This is Alec! It's Alec, you hear me?" she called out now, angry and frightened, and he could see pure shock written all over her face. He had scared his baby sister needlessly.

It was his job to take care of his siblings, always had been… And what a mess he'd created instead. Half of them were dead, and now he had even set out to kill one with his own hands, and had probably scared Max away in the process…

All for naught.

He had failed them all. He was useless. More than that.

"For god's sake, Zack! Ben's dead, okay? I killed him, _I_!" she looked at him, challengingly, then continued, "Now get over here already and help me with this!"

Max's short outburst brought him to his senses again eventually. He had to remind himself that this was not the time for self-pity, and it worked. In the long run he would always remain the soldier Manticore had created and trained him to be. _Suck it up, soldier_, that's the order they had all learned to adhere to.

* * *

Alec stared up into Max' huge dark eyes as she bent over him now in an effort to stop the blood from oozing out of his body.

Still here, still alive, he thought. So why was she watching his every move and breath as if she suspected he might just die on her any second?

"Max," he whispered, his voice sounding raspy from having cried out earlier. He remembered that, and wished he didn't…. Fucking great, he had sounded like a fucking lamb for slaughter. So much for the tough genetically-engineered super-soldier here… "Max," he said again, a bit louder this time, and tried to sit up. But she kept her hands pressed down on his chest and shook her head.

"Don't, Alec, you'll only make it worse. Let me deal with it first." Her hushing tone didn't really make him feel any more comfortable.

"Nnnnnnh," he made and tried to shake her off in an effort.

"Ssshh, it's okay, Alec, just lie still for a second, okay? You're alright, you're going to be alright, just don't move now, just…"

He furrowed his brow, trying to concentrate on what she was saying, but it got harder by the minute. What was the fucking matter with him? The excruciating pain he had felt what seemed like a lifetime ago had all gone now, hadn't it? So why did he feel so wobbly now although he was already lying on his fucking back?

"Tell me," he begged, holding her gaze, "How bad is it?"

For one short moment Max's features softened with affection before she pulled a face at him again. He was glad beyond belief that he hadn't blinked exactly at that instant; he wouldn't have wanted to have missed that beautiful and comforting expression…

"Mmm, Alec," she grunted out and grimaced unhappily, before looking up and talking to someone else. He was aware of this other one kneeling down on his other side, but when he tried to turn his head that way, Max laid her hands on his cheeks and she bent down low until her nose nearly touched his, all the while holding his gaze.

"No, stupid," she reprimanded him. For what exactly? "Don't look now, okay? Trust me. Zack's going to help you get better, okay? It'll probably hurt like hell, but I'm right here, you hear? I'm right here with you…"

"Maxie… you really need to do some research on… on what a good. Nurse. Should tell their patients. Not… not at all comforting, this…" he tried to joke, but choked on the words as he felt that unbearable pain stab into him again and closed his eyes, shutting himself away from everything.

This time, he didn't so much as utter one sound. Desperately trying to hold the pain at bay, he even forgot to breathe for a few seconds, until he felt a hand slapping his cheeks repeatedly and heard Max's frightened voice calling his name.

He opened his eyes and grinned at her weakly. God, he was so tired.

"Must be in a bad way, if… you're not even bitching a-"

"Shut up, Alec!" she interrupted him and huffed slightly while stroking his arm gently, the tender movement betraying her harsh tone. "Bullet hit you damn close to your heart, smart-ass," she explained, "grazed some ribs pretty bad, too…"

"Uh huh," he mumbled, his eyes closing of their own accord. He didn't want to pass out on her, he honestly didn't – he was a tough guy, right? – but his body's needs eventually won the fight and he slipped into blessed unconsciousness.

* * *

Max watched as her favorite pain-in-the-ass-companion of the last couple months was drifting off. She considered forcing him awake again, but Zack shook his head. He had just had to remove some splintered bone the bullet had grazed off of the guy's ribs and he deserved the mercy of at least a few minutes unhampered by pain after that.

"Give him a minute, Maxie…," he said, then looked away again, not daring to meet her eyes. "I'm sorry, Max… I thought…."

"Yeah, I know." She was looking at her big brother now, taking him in, comparing the boy she had known to the man he had become. She loved them both, always would.

The few weeks on the farm had done him good, she could tell. And she felt regret at his lost chance of leading a normal life. Why couldn't it have stayed the way it had been? Why the hell did he have to regain his memory now? It had complicated everything, and now they were sitting here, in the middle of the street, and Alec lay between them, dangerously close to death. She wasn't ready for this. She wasn't ready for losing him, she wouldn't.

She had lost so many already, Jack, Eva, Tinga… Ben…

She would NOT lose Alec. Max took a deep breath, before gently nudging the unconscious other.

"Max…"

"What?" she scoffed, her eyes blazing. "Isn't that what we learned to do? To keep the severely wounded awake, so as to keep them from – from – " she stuttered, tears suddenly rolling down her cheeks. "Shit, Zack, I just can't lose him, he's – "

"I know."

"No. You don't. You… can't, it's. I killed Ben, Zack, he asked me to and I did. We… we were in the woods, he had been hunting this man, a priest. I – had to stop him, Zack, and he knew it. I think he even wanted me to end it then, before…." she faltered, lowering her head, staring down into Alec's ashen face, that face that so resembled Ben's.

Zack softly touched a strand of her hair, swept it off her face. "Before what, Maxie?" he asked, focusing all his attention on her well-being now. In view of his sister's despair his own sorrows – his failure – didn't count as much and would have to wait until there was finally time for it. And deal with it he eventually would…

"Max?"

She sighed heavily, still caressing the other's still form, bending forward again to shield his body from the light drizzle that had started to fall a while ago. They needed to get the guy out of here. Off of the street, where every damn anti-transgenic activist might easily spot them. He hadn't been long in Seattle, but already he had seen how crazed the citizens could get when it came to dealing with the Xs.

"He was hurt, Ben was. _I_ hurt him. – He couldn't walk alone anymore, and what with Manticore already closing in on us like that he knew he would never make it. – He was so scared, Zack." She looked at him, her face a pained grimace, her cheeks shining now with the moisture of both tears and drizzle, and all Zack wanted to do was hug her close and console her as best he could.

But there was no way…. She had done what would have been _his_ task in the first place. She had succeeded while he had failed. She had been there when Ben had needed her. She had been there.

"He didn't want to go back," Zack concluded, knowing exactly what was to come. Her slight nod confirmed his assumptions.

Her voice was now no more than a light breath, the words inaudible to anyone who didn't have a transgenic's sense of hearing. "I asked him to tell me the story just once more, you know? About the Good Place…"

"Where no one ever gets punished…," Zack whispered, the memory having come back to him at that very moment, triggered by her mentioning it.

"Yeah," Max smiled sadly, "And no one ever gets yelled at…"

Her eyes locked with his, the intensity of her stare unsettling him deeply. It had broken her. In a way, killing Ben had broken his little sister, and he was responsible for it.

"Snapped his neck," she conceded, her voice unsteady. "He had asked me to, Zack… he's gone. – But this here," and with that she gestured down to her lying companion, "This is Alec. He is not at all like Ben. I could never let him die…"

"Sorry, Maxie. For everything. I never meant to kill an innocent man. I didn't know – "

"I _know_ you didn't, Zack, and I know you lost your memory a while back and just didn't know any better. It's my fault, I should have anticipated that this might happen, I…"

"Ssshh, that's not true. Don't ever think it is, baby sister, you hear me? Not ever! – And now, I really think we should leave here asap, go to ground. Come on, Maxie, help me get your friend out of here. Any suggestions?"

After Max had succeeded in gaining at least a bit of control over her feelings back, the first place that came to mind was Logan's. But of course she couldn't bring Zack there... And TC was still so far away.

It would have to be the sewers. And then she would call Lo- better: call Mole, or the big fella.

She had just started to gently shake Alec awake again, when she heard something behind her back and started. Apparently Zack had heard it to, as she saw him whirling around alertly.

"Nnnh," Alec made, as the pain registered with him once again, and Max just laid a calming hand on his chest.

"Well, if this isn't the leader of the freaks we got here, huh? Look at this, Earl, today is our lucky day it seems, three freaks, and two of the most prominent faces among them…. This sure as hell is going to be fun!" A big guy, surrounded by at least a dozen others all looking the same – all muscles and heavy weaponry, stood not far from the three transgenics, leveling a gun at them.

So the vigilantes had found them in the end…

* * *

**A/N 2: **… so, how many of you have I lost now? … And how many will still give this a chance? (:


	6. Chapter 6

**Damn the consequences: Chapter 6**

**Disclaimer: **… can't you leave well enough alone? Okay here goes: no copyright infringement intended.

**A/N: **Anyone else having the feeling that every new chapter they submit poses more of a threat than the last one? Oh well… But as so many of you guys made the effort and reviewed (BIG THANKS!!) I guess I just couldn't let you hang there. So I struggled on…

**A/N 2: **By the way: thanks also for those anonymous reviews I couldn't answer!

* * *

ALEC: _No. I'm someone who believes in going after what he wants, and damn the consequences. When you've been dead a hundred years, little girl, you have only just begun to be dead. We're living on borrowed time. And if you don't put your heart out there on the line, then you're never really living at all. If __I__ loved someone, I'd tell 'em. And if I __wanted__ someone, then I would let her know, straight up ..._. **Borrowed Time**

* * *

This was NOT going to be the end…

Alec swallowed hard and clenched his teeth attempting to deal with the unbearable pain that was surging up in his body again. He scrunched up his face and tried to push Max's hands off of him, but she was very persistent.

"Keep still," she muttered almost inaudibly, not even turning her face toward him, and it was the urgency behind that simple order that made him obey her without protest. Although – by god! – he just wanted to curl up against that agonizing feeling of having been ripped open to the core…

And while Max still felt his blood seep through her fingers, she called to the ordinaries challengingly: "So, you gonna come over here and let me kick some ass now, or what?!"

With that she gently placed Alec's own hand over the wound, wordlessly instructing him to press down on it as best he could. Then she got up, slowly walked to Zack's side and they both took up a fighting stance…

* * *

Logan sat at his desk and tried to concentrate on reassembling the stupid computer equipment in front of him into something at least remotely reminiscent of anything that might actually work one day, but it was a slow and frustrating process, demanding at least a minimum of patience he couldn't seem to muster at the moment.

Also, it didn't really help matters that his mind was preoccupied with other things…. Well, to be precise: preoccupied with thinking about Max…

He groaned miserably and gave up on his work. It was useless. He wouldn't manage to get this done tonight, anyway.

_I can't afford to lose you_…

The words still echoed in his head and made him feel a little woozy. Why had she said that? And then done a runner on him? What had she meant by saying it? I can't afford to lose you because you're such a good friend? I can't afford to lose you because…

No. She wouldn't have said that in front of Alec, now would she?

You wish, Logan! He chuckled unhappily, adjusted his glasses with a well-practiced movement of his hand and got up from his desk chair.

High time to call it a day, he decided, or else his tired brain might come up with even more stupid ideas.

He had only just arrived at his makeshift bedstead in Joshua's old bedroom and begun to peel himself out of the exoskeleton's tight embrace, when he heard his cell phone starting to beep away at the desk where he'd left it.

Damn.

Ignore? Try and get the call?

Grumbling, he swung himself into his wheelchair and mentally cursed whoever thought this an appropriate time to call – it was past four o'-fucking-clock in the morning, goddammit! After Alec had called some forty minutes ago to assure him that Max was alright, Logan hadn't expected any other calls that night. Course not.

As he made his way back to the deserted would-be study he had set up in one corner of the living room, he thought of all the curses he would fling at the idiot on the other end.

He grabbed the relentlessly beeping cell in one angry fist, held it up, and started when he saw the number on the display. Max. A claw began to grab at his heart in fearful anticipation, although – deep inside – he had of course already known this call would come eventually. But he had hoped for later, rather than sooner, which would have allowed him to contemplate the idea of her wanting to hook up with him again a little longer.

But she was not too good at procrastination; – at least not when it came to leaving him under any kind of false impression concerning the state of her feelings for people, right? She had always been very careful about that.

Exhaling slowly, he checked his voice for any traitorous trembling, and answered the phone. "Max, what – " He began, but instantly fell silent again at what he heard on the other end.

All that reached his ears through the wire was a low crackling sound, then nothing. And then: distant voices, labored breathing.

"You're an abomination! A fuckin' insult to god's holy creation! We don't tolerate things like you walking our streets, stealing our things, _killing_ our families!" someone was yelling venomously.

"Come on now, guys, let's show those fuckers how the ATM takes care of freaks that dare to enter our city!"

Logan gripped the cell even tighter. That stranger had definitely not been talking about automatic teller machines back there… Somehow, Max and Alec had managed to run into a bunch of those Anti-Transgenic-Movement activists on their way back to TC, and now Logan officially started to panic at the prospects. The _Coalition for a Transgenic-Free Seattle_ had been bad enough already, but these folks…. They were way more militant.

Max, he thought, oh god, Max. He had to do something, had to help her…

* * *

Max had speed-dialed the first number on her tiny cell that her bloodied finger had actually touched without slipping off immediately, hoping that she hadn't punched in OC's or, worse still… No time to think about that now, as she was busy trying to prevent this from escalating any further.

Easier said than done, though, what with the ordinaries all lining up like a firing squad. Max flashed a quick glance down to where Alec was lying incapacitated, then turned to face her brother, waiting for his instructions.

After all these years she would still follow her CO of old blindly. Anywhere.

Zack motioned for his sister to take on those men that were nearest to their position, while he would take the rest on from behind, thus trying to lure them as far away from the wounded as possible. Zack had injured his fellow X5 so seriously that he couldn't fend for himself in this fight and defending him had gotten even more imperative to Zack because it had been his fault alone that the guy was in this state at all.

When he noted his sister's light nod, he flashed into action without hesitance and rounded her blurring past the ordinaries standing closest to their assumed leader at the fore, and immediately ridded the astonished men at the back of their rifles. He then landed some remarkable punches, knocking two of the men out cold instantly, before having to deal with the somewhat more challenging opponents remaining. Even for an X-series soldier fighting against four adversaries wasn't exactly a walk in the park, and he had to endure blow after blow before eventually reducing their number to three.

Max, in the meantime, was experiencing a lot more difficulties with the rest of the vigilantes, who were closing in on her from all sides. Some of them were sporting tasers, others the sort of gun intended for hunting big game. But then, she thought bitterly, that's probably what they saw in the transgenics, game.

She whirled upward in a blur and kicked some of the oncoming assailants hard on her way down, always making sure to get them to focus their attention on her rather than Alec.

She didn't know how he was doing, if he was still holding on to life, as she prayed he was. Neither could she see how Zack was faring. She could definitely use some help here, so she hoped he was doing alright and might be able to assist her with these buggers sometime soon, for she wasn't sure how much longer she could cope with fighting five armed men at once, ordinary humans though they might be…

At least they seemed to be too afraid of actually using their damn rifles else Max would probably already be dead by now. Maybe they were just too scared they might accidentally shoot one of their own rather than her, as she was a fast moving target and not making it easy for them to aim any well-placed shots at her.

"Watch out, Max!" she suddenly heard someone yell, not being able to determine who it had been because she felt the shock of one – no, two – tasers hit her right at that instant, before another, more searing pain pierced her at the throat. She felt blood enter her windpipe from somewhere as the floor rose to meet her…

No, Alec thought, please, not this…

He had moved his body carefully and had come to lie on his side, thus having been able to watch the whole scene. The other X was still keeping up one hell of a fight, but Max was lying on the ground, a disturbingly still form in a growing pool of red.

Max…

Alec's nostrils flared with the effort of remembering to breathe despite the blood loss-induced weakness that had nearly made him pass out again several times in the last few minutes. A deathly weakness that made a simple thing such as breathing almost too hard to accomplish.

So much for the "tough guy," he thought, he couldn't even manage a little shortage of some red fluid coursing through his veins. Pathetic. He needed to close his eyes for a moment before he could be sure the world would not black out on him.

He opened them again to see Max's attackers stand back a little now, seemingly awed at seeing another transgenic on the ground, bleeding actual – red – blood, too.

"She broke my nose…" one of them was saying through gritted teeth, both hands covering his face.

"Shut up, Glen! – Whaddya think? She dying?"

"Looks like. Pretty bad wound, that. Would be one hell of a woman, if she just – "

"Walt!"

"I was only sayin', Stu…"

"Better go over there, help the others get rid of that fucking freak. Come on! These two," and with that he gestured toward Max and Alec, "won't rise again anyway, let 'em die there."

"But Stu…"

"What, Earl, you having qualms again?"

The other man goggled at his comrade and started to fidget uneasily. "No, it's not – it's… don't you think they might attack us if we turn our backs on them now? I mean, they're not human, they could – "

Stu glared at Earl disbelievingly. "Haven't you ever seen someone doomed to die, man? Well, I can tell you, no matter _what_ these are, there's no fucking chance that they will live to see the morning. Hear that? NO CHANCE! – And now let's join the others already…"

As soon as they had turned their backs on Max, Alec propped himself up into a sitting position, one hand placed firmly across his chest, the other serving as a means to steady him. He paused like that for a couple seconds before heaving himself up completely, almost fainting with the effort.

But he needed to tend to Max and couldn't afford to lose more precious time…

Only distantly was he aware of the fighting that was still going on some feet away, but still he wondered how much longer Zack would be able to hold his own against the increased number of opponents.

He sure proved to be one hell of a great fighter, irrespective of any cybernetic enhancement he had undergone…

He walked over to where Max was lying in her own blood, breathing shallow, gurgling breaths and staring up at him wide-eyed. She looked so scared…

* * *

"Mole! Thank heavens! Started thinking you guys back at Command had fallen asleep on duty, for god's sake! I – " Logan exclaimed exasperatedly and adjusted his pants' leg over the freshly girded exoskeleton, when the reptilian man on the other end interrupted him grumpily.

"Whoa there, ordinary. Forgot who you're talking to here?"

For a second, Logan was dumbstruck at this retort, but he got over it quickly, remembering that Mole couldn't possibly know what was happening out there at that very moment.

"Sorry, Mole, but – see, it's Max 'n Alec, okay? They are in some tight spot, I figure. Just received a phone call from Max's cell and all I could hear was some ATM-vigilantes – "

"Slow down, will ya, Logan?" Mole demanded, putting his cigar aside in reaction to the human's alarming outburst. He waved for Dix and Luke to come over, anticipating that something had gone absolutely wrong following the two X5's latest mission. Maybe they had been caught after destroying all the data on those damn thermal imagers after all.

Thinking about it now, Mole realized that he hadn't heard anything from the two of them since they had called in to proclaim the mission accomplished earlier that night, making an ambush by some of those damn ATM-fuckers highly probable.

"ATM? You sure about that?"

"'S what I heard them say. Listen, Mole, I gotta go and find them, they might still be somewhere close by, maybe I can…"

Mole glanced across to where his fellow transhumans stood watching Logan's head bob in and out of view on the little camera screen then returned his attention back to the ordinary, who was seemingly gearing up while speaking.

"Hold on. Did you say 'close by'?"

"Uh."

"What's that supposed to mean, huh? I'm pretty sure your place is nowhere – "

Logan didn't have time for this. Max was out there presumably fighting against a whole bunch of crazed anti-transgenic activists and no way was he going to have this conversation with the reptilian man now.

"Mole, you better send some of your… troops out here asap instead of talking, alright? Aren't you usually the one telling _me_ to cut down on the words and act? All I want you to do is just that, alright? ACT, dammit. Over and out."

With that Logan turned his back to the camera and Mole could see him running out the door back at Joshua's house. Damn, he was a little put off by the human's uncharacteristically straightforward manner. And damn again, the guy was even right!

Max and princess sure would need some help now that the ordinary was putting himself in danger and thus jeopardizing any sensible plans for a rescue mission.

He grunted noisily before extracting a new Cuban from his shirt pocket and instructing the other two to send TEAM I out to Joshua's – rather, _Logan's_ place pronto.

Max should have known better than going on that mission with only princess for company. He was always sure to get his ass kicked one way or another. Plus, wasn't she their CO, so to speak? She should have sent someone else. X5… always so damn sure of themselves, those arrogant little bastards. Sighing, Mole shook his head and stared hard at all the screens surrounding him. The streets of TC were empty, everyone was still asleep.

Somehow it all looked eerily peaceful.

Hopefully Max and Alec were going to get back safely… He sighed again.

* * *

Alec had difficulties managing to sit down beside Max and in the end it turned out to be more of a slump than anything else, and his body screamed out in agony. He didn't care much; he was used to the pain by now. But this…

"Max," he whispered, scanning her body for wounds. Except for the most obvious one there didn't seem to be any more, apart from some scratches, and she'd surely develop some pretty nice bruises later on…

Of course, though, sometimes one wound was more than enough.

Carefully he swept her dark hair out of her face and away from the wound, then he examined the damage more closely, constantly talking to her in a tone he hoped sounded reassuring.

"No worries here, Maxie. You're going to be alright. – Now, wait – haven't I heard those words before today? And see? You were right, huh?" Better not tell her that he feared to faint any sec now, his vision was already getting blurry again; fuck.

"Sorry, Max, I'll have to stick something into you now so you'll be able to breathe more freely again, alright? You ready?" She stared at him, pleading for him to hurry as clinging to dear life was getting harder and harder with all the blood entering her lungs with every laborious breath she drew.

She saw him unscrew a ball-point, extricate its innards before using the empty tube as she'd seen people do in some of Logan's pre-Pulse movies.

"Better close your eyes, huh? Might strain your eyes watching something being stuck into you down there." Even in this situation she managed to shoot him a glance that sure would kill if his own wound didn't manage to finish him off beforehand.

"Aw, Max! I'm a gentleman. Seriously, I would never take advantage of a helpless – " He stuck the ball-point's empty tube into her damaged windpipe, "woman."

When he gently touched her clammy forehead she opened her glazed eyes again. She was so pale, it scared him. Little did he know that his own ashen color didn't make him look any better.

"Alec."

"Ssshh Max, do what the doc tells you and rest, okay?" He started rambling, as much for her benefit as for his own. He wouldn't last much longer, but someone needed to watch over her, needed to stop the blood from entering her windpipe again, needed to be there for her, just to make sure she wasn't alone in - …

"Pretty sure Mole's already raised hell back at TC. I mean, his most favorite two people in the whole damn world going awol without him noticing it? Not likely. Besid- "

"Alec." Max interrupted him, exhaustion showing on her face. Talking with a stick in your throat wasn't too fun it turned out. Her eyes found his and locked. She could make out all the different colors of his irises; beautiful. And the warm and reassuring flicker that was so like Alec. Smart-Alec…

"About – what you said – earlier… a- about telling someone you – love them, and – and no – matter the consequences…"

"Yeah?" Alec could see where this was headed. She thought she was dying, she wanted him to tell Logan how much she'd actually loved him; she wanted to make sure he would know. Well, if Alec couldn't save her, he pretty much hoped he wouldn't live to see the day they buried her. But he would hold on to life until he had gotten the chance to tell the man. That much he owed Max. He wouldn't disappoint her.

"I" She faltered, and Alec gently stroked her white face when she reached up with one bloodied hand and touched his temple lightly. She smiled. "I guess I just realized something…"

"What, Max?"

"Guess I better tell you something then…"

His face was blank as he waited for her to continue.

"What consequences could be – worse than – this…anyways, right?"

"Uh huh…" He got what she meant. God, it was becoming difficult to follow her, though. He was so damn cold and his chest hurt like hell and he was so tired… His eyelids started to flutter and after having fought to stay conscious for so long now, Alec was eventually losing the fight, just as Max was whispering:

"I love you, Alec, and I want to be with you…"

* * *

**A/N 3: **um, I guess there's one more I'll need to write, huh? Some loose threads that might need attending? Maybe… Whaddya think?


	7. Chapter 7

**Damn the consequences: Chapter 7**

**Disclaimer: **we all have rights… but mine do not include any copyrights for _Dark Angel_…

**A/N: **tell you what: at first, I started this wondering if it would even interest one single person. And then there was all you guys and it left me stunned. Damn! Thanks so much for your reviews, for adding this to your list of favorites, even simply for reading. THANKS! (:

…um, did I say there would only be _one_ more chapter?... hope you're not too disappointed if I say: this is not the last one…

**Warning:** I won't specify it here, but don't read the last bit of this if you get upset about certain things easily…

* * *

LOGAN: _…_ _You'll look out for her, right?_

ZACK: _It's not something anyone has to ask me to do. It's my responsibility to look after all of them. …_ **Prodigy**

* * *

Zack was already pretty much out of breath by the time the first taser hit him and made him slump to the ground, dazed. His body just wouldn't work when he tried to get up again right away, but there were still a few of the attackers left standing, and the longer he remained incapacitated with the electric shock he had received, the more of those he had already knocked out or at least brought down so hard that they had remained lying were now getting up and ready again. Shit.

Zack fought hard against the daze and eventually managed to turn his head in Maxie's direction. Hopefully she had had more luck so far, because he wasn't much of a help like this.

But the electric shock seemed to have been nothing much – no more than an uncomfortable sting – compared to the shock that hit him when he saw his sister lying absolutely motionless, facing the paling sky above. Right beside her lay the still form of the one looking just like Ben, and Zack could see his forehead pressed to Maxie's side, her arm awkwardly draped around him in a clumsy attempt at holding him close.

Zack focused on that one arm while the daze increased with each new hit he had to endure – from tasers or boots. His very first thought at seeing Max like that had been, she's dead, and he had given up at that instant, too.

_He_ had brought this about, because of him another of his siblings had died violently. He had failed so utterly. Those few of the twelve that were still remaining would sure be better off without him…

But when he continued to stare over at his beloved baby sister and his eyes zoomed in on her arm once more, he got aware of the way she was holding on to the other X5 and he assessed her condition more closely. Yes, there was no perceivable movement in any of her limbs, and he couldn't see whether her eyes still held any trace of life in them, but what he did see was the tension in her arm that she was still consciously wrapping around the man lying by her side and which was not merely a limp gesture continuing on even after her muscles had gone slack in death.

Max was alive.

And he might still have a chance to save her…

Bracing himself as best he could he closed his eyes briefly, pushed the pain and the dizziness as deep down as they would go and jumped up out of his lying position in one quick leap.

* * *

When Logan rounded what felt like the millionth corner and was faced with just another dark, nasty, and empty looking street, he was already beyond panicking and had started to be mad at himself for having come out here with no fucking clue as to the whereabouts of Max – and for not simply having waited for the surely more competent TC rescue team.

Damn his "_oh so holy oh so righteous oh so-I-may-be-what-you-call-an-ordinary-but-I,-too,-can-kick-ass-like-hell" _attitude. He couldn't even find the site where two transgenics were having a fight with – what? – an _army_ of crazed vigilantes? Really great, Cale, he scolded himself, really fucking wonderful.

He was already close to giving up the search, returning to Joshua's house – which he still couldn't quite call his own, and instead sitting down to try and trace Max and her shadow so as to at least be of some help for the rescue mission. But right when he had stopped under a flickering orange streetlamp and had given in to the urge to resign and dwell in the fear that 

Max's call had initiated, he noticed some curtains nearby being pulled back ever so slightly to reveal the face of an old woman.

This in itself was of course no reason to get suspicious, but when the lady's curtain didn't remain the only one being lifted off of a window and Logan saw at least six more people taking a peek at him, he knew that they had seen something…

That they had seen Max.

With a somewhat more confident stride he aimed for the old woman's door and knocked impatiently. No pretending now that no one was home, he wouldn't have that.

This was a matter of life and death after all. And he was here to help his love… and her partner.

"Ma'am, please, I know you're there. Please. Let me just talk to you real quick. Ma'am? I just need to know what you observed out here. What happened. Please. I'm – my friends might be in some trouble…"

There was no way she would help him if he disclosed the fact that those "friends" where actually two transgenics unlucky enough to have run into a mob of wild human would-be soldiers that thought what they were doing helped protect the city…

"Uh, it's…," he tried to clarify, but he couldn't think of any stupid words to say to her, and he couldn't just barge into her house and shake her until she told him what he wanted to know, right? He clenched his hands into fists, stopping himself from breaking down the poor woman's door in his newfound vigor.

Words! He was a man for words. He was good at the talking business. It had always been like that, he had always been good at finding appropriate things to say. So why wouldn't his brain come up with anything to say _now_? Now that he was desperate… and that woman was looking him up and down as if he had lost his mind.

At first she had doubted him, the way he walked, so quickly, and… strangely; and the way his face was set in a fierce grimace of anger and impatience. But when she dared another glance out of her window and examined him closer, she could tell that he was not one of them. 

_Too_… she couldn't quite name it, but she knew. There was something about him that just didn't quite add up to him being a – what did they call themselves? – transgenic.

She sighed tiredly. It was no use, he wouldn't go away, and the whole neighborhood would be watching a strange man knocking her door off of its hinges and she would be the talk of town for the next couple weeks. Well…

Eventually she decided it would be safer to open the door to him – if only a tiny bit – and let him know what she had seen. Better tell the poor man that he shouldn't call those trans- … - whatever they were called again – his _friends_ in these parts of Seattle too boastingly. Other people might not be as sympathetic as she was.

Logan was relieved when the old lady appeared at her door, even though he could only see half of her face and she didn't loosen any of the many locks on the inside. But he was fine with that; he didn't want to enter her home, he wanted to go and find Max...

"Young man. Hasn't anyone ever told you that it is not recommendable to admit being friends with ... the word keeps slipping my memory… anyway…," she bade him come a little closer to the tiny opening and whispered in the loud and raspy way of those who have never learned how to lower their voices, "You want to know what we saw here, huh? Well, to be honest, it isn't worth telling really, because it was nothing much. You hear? Just two of _those_ passing by. You could tell they were – "

"Transgenics," Logan offered when she faltered again, and he fought hard to control his temper. This wasn't leading anywhere.

"Uh huh!" she exclaimed excitedly and continued, seemingly unaware of his unnerved tone, " – just by the looks of them and their proud and confident gait and…."

"Right," Logan interrupted again before she had any chance to drone on like that eternally. Drumming on the wood of her doorframe with his fingers he dared to ask her one more question, "So, did you see anything else?"

Bad idea. He should have never asked that woman in the first place. Now he was losing time by listening to her crap instead of saving Max from the ATM… Just great. He was making a mess of everything today.

_Revision_: He had been making a mess of everything since allowing Max to choose Alec over him without so much as trying to win her back.

"Oh," she looked at him a little disappointedly, then continued nevertheless, "You mean, that they were headed in that direction over there? – Or that Stu – he lives right down the street – made to follow them with his weird cronies not five minutes after they had disappeared?"

Logan was already running down the street she had pointed out to him before she had quite finished her sentence. He – _the man for words_ – hadn't even remembered to blurt out a short "Thanks."

* * *

The sky had turned the color of a washed-out blue, tinged with the sickly orange light the streetlamps were still giving off. Max stared up hard at the relentless vastness, not able to turn her head to take in her surroundings, or look at Alec by her side. She couldn't even call his name and talk to him in order to bring him back to her, to keep him awake.

For now she could still feel his body's ever so slight movements with each shallow in- or exhalation. The position he was lying in wasn't doing his damaged chest any good, she knew that much, and she knew that he had lost too much blood already. But he mustn't die, she was not prepared for that. Smart-Alec, her favorite pain in the ass companion, the guy who was always – ALWAYS alright no matter what anyone did to him, he just wasn't allowed to die now.

Now that she had realized what she felt for him was more than just affection that had grown with every day they spent together…

She had been prepared to die herself, what with the wound in her throat and the resulting respiratory problems, or the blood loss. She had been prepared for that. But not for the possibility of lying incapacitated and having to watch helplessly as Zack was left to fight alone, and Alec was dying by her side.

"Max! – Oh god, Max!"

She couldn't turn to see who had been calling her name, but she would know that voice anywhere. Thank god, she thought, and eventually she gave in to the tiredness and allowed her eyes to close. If Logan was here, he sure had brought the whole cavalry along with him as was so typical of him, and there would still be a chance to get help for Alec in time.

If they had brought along Manticore-standard first aid equipment...

"Oh god!" Logan exclaimed once more at seeing his two friends in such poor state. This was not good. This was so not good. He knelt down by Max's side, his hands fidgeting restlessly in their uselessness. He couldn't do anything for her, and for once her life, too, was at stake because of that damn retrovirus. He couldn't even help the other one as Max's and Alec's blood had probably blended into one poisonous mélange.

He looked up in desperation, only now becoming aware of a fight that was still going on only a short distance away from their position. Whoever was fighting there on Max's behalf could surely do with some help. And considering that he was of no use for any of the two badly hurt X5s if he just remained seated here, he decided to join the other one in his fight against the vigilantes.

"Max," he said before leaving and hoped he was sounding more self-assured than he was feeling, "I told Mole where the rescue team should look for you, they should be here now any minute, do you hear? Everything's going to be alright, you just have to hold on a little longer. They're already on the way… Max. I gotta help that guy with those darn sons of bitches, okay? Max…"

He brought his face so close to hers that she was actually getting scared of coughing out a few drops of blood that would kill him off instantly and hence she didn't even dare attempt saying anything to him, although she desperately needed to warn him about her brother's presence…

Oh god, could this get any worse?

* * *

When Zack eventually managed to knock out the guy who seemed to be the group's leader he found out why their little brawl had not been brought to one single cop's attention, despite the noise it had created, and despite the fact that the street wasn't exactly the secluded spot for a fight to be fought without anyone noticing: according to the badge Zack had dug out of his belongings the man, Stuart, was with the sector police himself and had probably called in to his colleagues beforehand and asked them not to interfere.

Maybe it had been for the better for Zack was no longer in any condition to cope with more assaults, even if the assailants were ordinary humans…

Exhausted, he sank to the ground, for the first time taking in the guy that had come out of nowhere to help him. He was sitting not far away, staring at Zack wide-eyed, transfixed even, as if he couldn't quite believe what he saw.

Zack furrowed his brow; there was something about the man that was oddly familiar, but his brain simply couldn't link that feeling to any particular memory. Probably still overloaded after all the remembering of the last few hours…

"I've seen you before," he eventually stated, not knowing that he was mimicking the exact words he had said to Logan on another occasion…

A flustered "Uh" was the only verbal reaction that escaped Logan's mouth before he fell back into a dumbstruck stupor. Meeting Max's brother like that, totally unprepared – and under this predicament, was tough. What if Zack's cranial implant messed with his memory again while they were still here, sitting among the vigilantes that were now slowly scrambling up again, helping their unconscious companions, and making a run for it. And with Max and Alec close by fighting for their lives…

And where the hell was Mole's rescue team?

Zack had already gotten up and walked over to his fellow Xs by the time the other one made to follow his example and Zack glanced at him quickly before turning his attention toward his sister and her friend. They were really looking the worse for wear now and it was time for some desperate measures if he wanted to save their lives.

"Do you have any form of first aid on you?" he asked throwing another glance at the man, then made to disentangle the Ben lookalike from Max's grip. It was easy now that she had lost consciousness, but he could tell that she must have held on to the man fiercely before.

It pained him to see her like this. There was no way he was going to let her die…

Logan handed Zack the kit he had brought along, – at least one thing he had thought of doing before running out of the house like an idiot earlier. And it was well equipped, too, thank god. After having been with Max for so long he knew all the non-standard medical equipment needed in dealing with wounded X5s. Like the things needed for a blood transfusion, which were coming in quite handy under the current conditions…

Zack had no time to be too astonished about the contents of the kit, although it was quite extraordinary for non-transgenics to walk around with that sort of things on them. If they weren't doctors… He looked at the other man again, all the while unpacking the medical instruments he needed for an emergency blood transfusion.

"Can you…"

Logan shook his head, anticipating Zack's question, "I'm afraid I won't be of much help. Max carries a Manticore-created retrovirus in her blood, and I… it'll kill me off if I get in contact with her…" He looked at the blond transgenic hopelessly before adding, "And as her blood is all over Alec, too… – A rescue mission is out for them, though, should really get here any sec now…" With that Logan checked his watch quickly as if that would make Mole's team appear faster. What delayed them, anyways?

Zack's face was a mask, hiding the emotions that were welling up in him all of a sudden. So the guy knew about Manticore. And he knew Max.

He…

"I remember you," Zack suddenly whispered, as more memories were flooding his tired brain.

"Zack…," Logan said, sounding unsure and slightly defeated.

* * *

Zack stared at Logan, wondering what his sister saw in the man. Then he said:

"You're really worried about Max? The biggest threat to her safety is you."

He could tell that the other one wasn't pleased to hear this, and that he didn't really understand it, either. He was too self-possessed to let on, though, only wanted to know what made Zack think so…

It was just another recollection that surfaced in his still clouded memory, and he couldn't quite place it in time, it was all too fuzzy, too confusing, for it didn't remain the only thing resurfacing at that moment.

Logan… _Eyes Only_… "You're _Eyes Only_…" And the torture… shooting _Eyes Only_… Logan, he's a traitor… He has to stop the man, he has to…

"Zack!" Maxie's clear voice called out to him, "Don't do this!" She was begging him vehemently, but somehow he just wouldn't hear. And after that, nothing…

"They did something to you back at Manticore…" Maxie again.

Something wasn't right about this all, he knew that now. Manticore had messed with his brain more than he had ever realized before. Apparently that guy, Logan, was not a traitor at all, he had always been good to his sister, had helped her – and even him – fight Lydecker – and Manticore… He had helped fighting those vigilantes only a few minutes ago, and would've helped with Max and Alec, too, if it hadn't been for that virus.

Zack looked up to the man again, scrutinizing him. He was an okay guy, it seemed.

And still Zack knew that his brain was too damaged to be able to hold on to that thought for long. Already he felt it slipping away, out of his grasp, and being replaced by a feeling of true hate, and the urge to eliminate him.

He couldn't let that happen. If anything, he had learned two things today: that Max considered the guy her family, and that she loved the other transgenic…

It was his responsibility to take care of his siblings, especially of his baby sister, and it included saving her newfound family, or else all his efforts were for naught…

* * *

Logan could only watch as Zack hooked his vein to Max's and right afterward repeated the procedure, only this time using his other arm and hooking the protruding vein to Alec's…

Surely, this was not a wise decision.

"Um, Zack, maybe… you're in no good state yourself, and… I know that they're both in a critical condition, but… really, um…" Logan faltered as Zack's piercing stare hit him. The X5 was determined, he wouldn't listen to anything Logan said, wouldn't listen to some stupid ordinary droning on about what was wise and what was not while his sister lay dying.

In a way Logan was glad about it for it increased Max's chance to survive this. Although he reproached himself for thinking it at the very instant the feeling first surfaced in his mind.

But he did shut his mouth and watched silently as the precious fluid left Zack and was passed on into the others' veins.

"It's going to be alright, Maxie," the transgenic whispered reassuringly, over and over again. "Did you hear Logan? Can't take the rescue team much longer to get here, okay? It's all over now…. You'll survive this, Maxie, you'll live to lead that normal life you always wanted. I know it…," Zack felt the eyes of the ordinary on him, but didn't turn around. Any glance at the guy might trigger the growing wish to kill him even further…

Almost over now, he thought as he felt the blood surge out of his body with every new beat of his heart and he knew that life was leaving him too…

"You'll see, your… – Alec, right? – he'll be there for you, he'll survive this just like you. And he'll take care of you for me…," Zack hardly realized that he was slowly slumping down, shrinking into himself.

He felt the urge to turn and shoot the ordinary dwindle along with each ounce of blood that left his body. He thought of Buddy for a moment and wished he could have thanked that man for everything he had done for him.

"Zack… please…," Logan begged, not daring to touch Max's still strong and proud looking brother. God, she would hate him if he didn't interfere…

Zack was smiling as he saw his sister's face lose at least a little of its paleness and her eyelids start to flutter. "I love you, Maxie. Never forget it…"

"Zack," she mouthed, unable to speak, and tried to hold his gaze…

… but already his smile faded and he slumped down entirely, unseeing eyes facing the now blue sky above him.

Logan gasped.

* * *

ZACK: _X5-599, I've got a heart for you. _**Designate This**

* * *

**A/N 2: **nah… I wouldn't kill Max or Alec would I?… - too boring, this chapter? Don't want me to continue? … Anyone hate me now? … uh-oh…


	8. Chapter 8

**Damn the consequences: Chapter 8**

**Disclaimer: **no infringement intended of course…

**A/N: **so, how many of you are still reading this?... Anyways, this is for those who do, of course. Yeah, well… I guess this is what happens when I get carried away a little…

* * *

MAX: _This is Alec. He is not at all like Ben. I could never let him die… _**Chapter 5**

* * *

"You're poison," these words, stated so matter-of-factly once by that woman Renfro, rang in Max's head once again as her mind fully grasped what she had witnessed moments ago: her brother dying; and this time there would not be a miraculous return from the dead for him. You could only die so often…

"You destroy everyone that you love."

And this time, she was ready to believe it. They'd all die anyways, so why fight? Why cling to this world if she _knew_ Alec was not going to make it…

… because Zack had given his life for her. For the second time. His heart was beating in her chest, his blood coursing through her veins.

Already he had saved her again; she could feel that his blood's transfusion had rebuilt her strength ever so slightly, enough, at least, for her to last until the rescue team would arrive.

He had wanted her to lead that little normal girl's life…

She wouldn't, of course. Not with her past, and all the memories stored away somewhere deep in her brain, memories of all her siblings, of Jack, Eva, Tinga, Ben, Zack; …not all of them were bad ones. There had been good moments, a few – mind – but they had been there.

And memories of Alec…

No, she wouldn't be able to lead that normal girl life.

Actually, at some time in the past few months since her second escape from Manticore, she had ceased to wish for that kind of "normal" life. Oh, why had she been so slow in realizing the reason for that?

She was only half aware of Logan speaking to her, of some sudden action, of eventually being lifted and taken away. But the memory of the last look in Zack's eyes, that expression of utter relief – and salvation, even – still lingered with her. As did Alec's sudden absence…

* * *

Someone had gone to great lengths and tiled the whole floor and some parts of the formerly bare walls of what had become their own version of an emergency room in a clinical white that lent the building the feeling of an actual hospital. And the makeshift operating theaters they had established right at the beginning of the siege had now been turned into something that almost looked like the real thing.

But mostly, the building remained empty except for those few people that were always there, working as a basic staff. They were making sure TC was never running out of medical equipment by constantly taking stock of the medical inventory and reporting back any deficiencies to Command right away – just in case, and further also tending to some minor injuries every once in a while.

This was not Manticore, of course, but still. It was a part of the city in which a siege held the transgenics trapped most of the time, a place they could not go in and out of as they pleased, and they were not so stupid as to believe they could do without a hospital of their own.

Having grown up within a confined area, having been trained as soldiers and been sent on many missions, every resident of Terminal City had learned that injured soldiers might come in at any second, no matter how easy an op had been deemed to be.

Even the necessary supply runs that had replaced the missions they were used to of old still ended with people getting wounded by encounters with the police, fights with enraged citizens, or simply by some fault of the transgenics' own.

Interestingly, though, most common these days were scratches, bite marks, and the like, all typical injuries received because all of a sudden the Xs had been forced to deal with the state of heat all by themselves, simply guided by their own instincts and knowledge of their bodies. There was no one else to interfere now, no one whose senses didn't get affected as soon as they only so much as tried.

But most importantly in their decision to turn the old factory into a hospital had been something else: not a few of them were quite suspicious about the government planning to inflict some horrible assault on the whole of TC in the near future, the memory of Manticore burning still being fresh and vivid in their minds.

Therefore, preparation was compulsory; even for quiet nights like this…

* * *

The door was pushed open with such force that its knob left a hole in the wall and got stuck. Immediately the whole room started buzzing with sound as everyone got busy. People shouted out commands, things were lifted, shifted, more and more staff ran into the foyer following the noise the commotion created, then ran on, grabbing things from shelves and out of drawers and making to prepare two of the yet virgin operating rooms for their first major surgeries.

This was going to be a long day.

"WHAT IN GOD'S NAME HAPPENED?!" Mole could be heard roaring, his voice echoing throughout the building, and Logan, who was rushing in right beside him, felt his ears ring painfully. He almost felt sorry for the rescue team's CO. Almost.

The man had completely screwed up the mission by getting lost – getting lost of all things! – inside the sewers, having forgotten to think of bringing something as essential, as standard as a GPS… But Logan's mind was too occupied with what he had seen only minutes ago for him to give any more thought to that now.

Mole was already dealing with it, anyway, which left the ordinary free to run alongside the stretcher that bore Max to one of the rooms at the back, never stopping trying to cajole her with empty phrases on the way.

But her eyes – which luckily she still kept wide open – were so full of sadness, fear, and concern that he doubted she paid much heed to his words at the moment. Still, talking to her was better than any of the other things he could think of doing right now, things that included killing that damn CO, a thought that had crossed his mind as soon as he had found out the team could have been there soon enough to have prevented Zack's sacrifice.

Zack… The thought of him made Logan cringe. If Max was indeed going to survive this, as he hoped she was, she would be so mad at him. She'd accuse him of not having done anything, of having _watched_ her brother die without even trying to intervene. And she would have every right to do so. He sighed and closed his eyes briefly, not able to hold her gaze any longer.

They had entered the operating room by then and one of those originally trained as medics ushered him out gently. "Sorry…" He groped for some word to call the man, the half-finished sentence lingering. Logan couldn't help but think that the guy was probably just regretfully discarding _ordinary_ as a polite form of address. That word came to mind too easily if you were an X and dealing with a non-transgenic.

"Logan," he offered without looking the man in the eyes, instead staring past him to where Max could be seen being lifted onto the operating table very carefully.

"Okay, Logan. You can't stay here as long as the doc's with her, alright? He'll take care of things, you'll see. You can stay out there in the waiting area, if you like, and as soon as there's any news, I'll let you know."

He could only nod his head lamely before turning to the area the other one had pointed out. Maybe he should check on Alec first, though, see how things were going for him. If he was still –

"YOU WILL BE COURT-MARTIALED FOR THIS; SOLDIER! I DON'T CARE IF MANTICORE IS DOWN OR NOT; YOU WILL BE…," Mole inhaled deeply, trying to keep himself from exploding, then went on, "LUCKY FOR YOU THAT IT _IS_, OR YOU'D ALREADY HAVE BEEN TERMINATED, YOU UNDERSTAND THAT? _TERMINATED_!"

Mole had never been a very cheery guy, had never shown any sort of affection for anyone too openly, nor hatred. But this man's failure… If it cost any more people their lives, if it cost Princess' life or Max's, he would shoot that fucking idiot himself, without regarding the consequences.

He was so exasperated that he had totally forgotten he was still clutching the half-smoked Cuban, whose glowing end had started to burn his fingers. Eventually he let go of the stub and ground it, never ceasing to tower over the short X5 threateningly. The man had been TEAM I's CO – until today…

"NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!" he commanded, never once dropping his voice, and instantly the other obeyed, scared eyes leaving Mole's enraged face as he headed for the open door. Mole shook his head in disbelief, then turned to go himself and find out how the patching up of the casualties was proceeding, of those that could still be patched up… "Casualties" was a word he clung to rather desperately, trying hard not to admit to himself that he actually really cared about the two X5s...

When Mole spotted the miserable looking human standing not too far away, eyes fixed on him, he decided to join the man soon, use the opportunity to ask him what exactly had happened. But first he really needed someone to give him an accurate account of the condition of both his CO and SIC– yeah well, he _had_ adopted them as such a while back, hadn't he – although of course Mole would never again listen to anyone's orders… Not ever again… Damn right.

Just then, Joshua barged in, looking around wild-eyed, hair even more unkempt than usual, as if he had been grabbing fistfuls of it in his big hands repeatedly. Mole sighed, knowing what was to come.

"Where is she?" the tall man asked in a more than demanding growl, thus scaring away a few of the crowd that had already gathered in the entrance hall by that time. Apparently, the news of Max and Alec having met more than a little resistance on their way back from the last mission had spread throughout the sleeping city faster than Mole would have thought possible.

So much for the peaceful quietness he had witnessed earlier…

When Joshua finally spotted him among the others he walked over to him surprisingly quickly and grabbed him hard by the shoulders.

"Little fella!" he burst out, panic clearly visible in the sheen of his wide eyes. "Where is she?"

"Josh… calm down, will ya," Mole said grumbling, noticing the ordinary come closer behind him. Always there if things got interesting, that one…

"Max is going to be okay. She and Princess – "

He didn't finish his sentence, left it to remain elliptic when seeing Josh's look of confusion, before more panic seeped into the man's face.

Oh damn. He hadn't yet known about Princess being here for treatment, also…

* * *

_The surgery wasn't going too well. The X5 still bled profusely and already they had used up half of the hospital's stack of stored blood, but the liquid was running out of him so fast it was difficult to keep the blood pressure at a satisfying level. And they weren't nearly done, yet. They had had to open up his chest even wider in order to assess the damage the bullet had done and were now frantically trying to clean the wound of all the stray pieces of bone that had been grazed off the man's ribs, all the while fixing sutures in various places. The surgeon's hands dipped in and out of the wound and he would have given anything for some kind of exhauster now as it was not easy to see anything with blood constantly refilling the cavity in the Xs chest. Why hadn't anyone consulted him on that decision, he wondered angrily, and his gloved fingers came away drenched in blood when he dipped another piece of bone into a kidney dish placed nearby…_

Alec hated it so much. He hated being mistaken for Ben, and yet that was what constantly happened. And if not that, then they blamed him for the things his no-good so-called twin had done. Okay, so he did look just like his psycho-brother – but through no fault of his, right? You can't choose your genetic make-up, you were born with it. Manticore hadn't consulted him in their decision to create him from the same fucking genetic material as X5-493, or had they?

Nope.

That was not the way it worked.

God, how he hated it. First, the escape back in '09 for which they had made him and the other twins pay dearly. Six months in Psy-Ops. Six fucking months!

They had been _children_. Well, Manticore-trained soldiers, but still, children.

After that they had never tried to bond with each other again, not daring to establish any sort of close relationship like the one the unit of runaways had had. They had been too scared their superiors might immediately sense danger then, as they were permanently under surveillance anyways, having always been considered flight risks no matter how hard they had tried to please Manticore. No chance. And so they had constantly feared they might be sent back for more Psy-Ops evaluation.

No, they would never have risked that.

And then one day the guy had completely lost it. Ben had had the one chance to live a life in freedom, but he had not been able to handle life on the outside and thus had screwed up big time, confining his brother to Psy-Ops treatment for another long period of days, weeks.

It had probably been months, Alec had never been too sure about that later-on because there had also been his own complete failure in the Berrisford mission he had had to cope with, and after a while he had no longer been able to differentiate between all his individual stints in reindoctrination and Psy-Ops.

Oh yes, he hated being mistaken for Ben.

"_Damn damn damn damn," the surgeon muttered when he saw that one of the splinters had moved dangerously close to the X5's heart, which now – with the rib spreader firmly in place – could be seen palpitating rhythmically. As long as it still was, there was a chance for him to survive. This was one tough kid; the surgeon had noticed that right when they had brought him in. "Hope she's worth it," he muttered on, addressing his unconscious patient now, because surely it could only have been a woman making the guy hold on to life so stubbornly._

He had just gained back a little of his old confidence and self assurance and rebuilt his smartass façade when they had introduced that abominable breeding program and had sent him to his assigned _breeding partner_ straight away.

Manticore had never encouraged any sexual encounters among the X5 before, although a few of the guards had enjoyed watching when one of them had been unlucky enough to experience the worse side of their heat cycle in front of their fellows, thus subjecting them all to their own sexual instincts.

Sometimes they had even added insult to injury and filmed the whole episode, but as Alec – or X5-494 as he had been known back then – had soon learned how to get the guards to cooperate smoothly, they had never dealt _him_ any of that crap.

Along came 452 – or rather: Max, as she had insisted on being called right from the start. Well, not before calling him by that hated name that to him had become the epitome of all that could go wrong, of all that he wanted to forget.

"Ben."

Shit, Max had always seen that other one's face when looking at him, had always also reacted to Ben and not merely to Alec. It had been a blow back then, and still was. Back then it had just hurt to be reminded of those terrible things he had had to endure because of 493, but gradually something else had made him detest their complete resemblance. That look Max sometimes gave him, when she was deep in thought, remembering terrible memories of her own…

He had never wanted to be a hurtful reminder for anyone else, least of all for Max; and yet he had lingered on. He could possibly have gone and found his own way in this big world, away from Seattle. But maybe he had stayed with Max because of his fear of not being able to cope with life away from Manticore, just like Ben, and going all dark side out there, too. And she had survived on the outside longer than anyone else he knew.

Of course he had never let on about how much any of that Ben-related business had bothered him. Most of the time he had succeeded in keeping all the bad things locked away deep inside from where they had only sometimes surfaced in sleep – which, admittedly, had scared away some chicks after one or two of his longer lasting flings.

Alright, maybe after slightly more than two…

But Max had never suspected anything.

Dang, okay. At least not until he had screwed it after they had come across that stupid Berrisford mansion on one of their Jam Pony tours. Alec could tell that afterward she never quite believed him whenever he assured her he was okay. And still he saw that blaze in her eyes each time he said it, as if she was waiting for those words anyway…

"_No no no! Don't die on me now, pal! Come on! She's waiting for you, right? You have fought this so long, now you've gotta see this through to the end, hear me?!" the surgeon shouted out, not caring if anyone outside the room could hear it. This kid was NOT going to die, he wouldn't have that now. Not after having performed this exhausting surgery for hours on end. "Come on!" he cajoled while holding the bloodied heart in his hands and palpitating it the way it should do of its own accord._

* * *

Max had been transferred to a regular room a while back, further away from the emergency section of the hospital. Still, she heard the surgeon's voice clearly through the haze of drugs they had given her. Alarmed, she opened her eyes to Joshua and Logan, the one sitting by her side and holding her hand in a gentle gesture while the other was pacing to and fro in front of the door.

"Maybe I should go and check – " Logan was saying, right when he got aware of Max having woken up.

"Little fella." "Max!"

The two men would have shouted in unison, hadn't it been for their choice of words, but they fell silent as soon as their friend's imploring stare pierced them in the most obvious panic, and she made to remove the IV, trying to get up before Joshua eventually pressed her down on the bed as carefully as was possible when dealing with a shocked and enraged X5 straining against resistance. Luckily she hadn't yet tried to remove the tube that assisted her breathing and would have to remain in place a few hours more.

"It's okay, little fella. Doc's really good at what he does," Joshua whispered softly, locking eyes with his greatest little friend. As if that would settle the matter he added, "Mole sent him…"

But it was NOT okay. Max couldn't let that happen, she couldn't let him die, he was not supposed to leave her now. She needed him here, she had always – _always_ needed him here, needed him to be alright, even if it was a lie, as long as he would still say those words to her, assure her of the mere possibility that it might prove true again later…

"I'll go check what's going on!" Logan blurted out, addressing Max, before hurrying out the door. He had to leave the room, which had felt stuffed all of a sudden. That look she'd given 

them. He'd never seen so much panic and despair in her eyes before. Not ever; not even when he himself had lain dying.

And he had to go see how Alec was faring. He couldn't lose his friend; Alec was not _allowed_ to die. Although he had stolen Max's heart, which had never been pointed out to Logan so clearly before.

More than that, it had never been as obvious to Logan as in this very second that it was alright. It was alright. All he had ever wanted was for Max to be happy. Call it romantic, call it pathetic, call it stupid, whatever else, Logan loved Max. He had always been the one in their relationship to love more, and while her love for him had waned, his had grown. Beyond selfishness. He loved her enough to want her to be happy no matter what.

And he had just truly seen for himself that this happiness came and went with Alec.

It was okay.

So don't you fucking die now, man! Logan swore to himself, as he heard the doc exclaim:

"Come ON! – Okay, shock him already! ... Shit shit shit! Shit!"

* * *

**A/N 2: **hope _your_ hearts are still beating the way they should?...


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: **yup, I disclaim…

**A/N: **thanks, guys, it's been fun (apart from the fact that this little story so didn't turn out the way I would have wanted it to…). Couple of things I'd like to apologize for:

- all the swearing; I know, I'm bad, I just can't help myself

- the editing: BIG SORRY, if Chapter 8 is anything to go by, I did a bad job… (made the mistake of taking my time re-reading that one before writing this here, and damn, it sucked)

But let's get this over with now:

* * *

**Damn the consequences: Chapter 9**

MAX_: I just wanted somebody that was like me. Someone I can connect with_. **411 on the DL **

* * *

"SO, SOMEONE TELLING ME WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON IN THERE, OR WHAT?" Mole shouted at the first person that emerged out of the operating room after what felt like a whole day. No one had told them anything, yet. The surgeon was still in there with Princess, Joshua was trying to keep his little fella from getting out of bed, and the ordinary stood there, right beside Mole, ready to deliver to a waiting Max whichever news they got.

But they had had to wait in silence, when no other sound had escaped from the closed doors in front of them, and no one had come out to tell them anything. Until now.

"_WELL_?" Mole managed to put even more emphasis into the already yelled word, daring his fellow transgenic to speak up. He wouldn't let that one get away without answering him first, because – as hard as it was to admit it to himself – he was at the end of his tether.

The trangenic, just another of those damn cocky X5s, stood right before the reptilian man, eyes fixed on his face, and sighed in obvious exhaustion. It had been a long day for him, too.

"He will live."

Both Mole and Logan slowly exhaled long-held breaths at that, shoulders sagging a little with the huge weight of Alec's dooming death finally being lifted off of their shoulders.

Thank god, Logan thought. He wouldn't have known how to break any other kind of news to Max.

* * *

Max stared at Logan and listened intently as he told her everything about Alec's surgery. He could tell how much she cared, how much it meant to her that her fellow X5 had survived the ordeal of that never-ending operation. Right then he had the chance to witness one of the very few moments in which she let her guard down completely and did no longer pretend to be the tough, independent woman she usually was. She didn't even succeed in deceiving herself, and he knew how much that scared her.

"It's okay, Max, he'll make it. Doc said the worst part is over… It was a close thing, but you know Alec, right? Always one for taking his chances," he stated, trying to ease the atmosphere a bit. Well, apparently his transgenic rival did a better job at getting Max to smile… But then, had Alec ever been faced with such a challenge as this here? Having to talk to Max when she was so desperate and vulnerable? Easier to deal with the tough bitchy version of her than with the one Logan had in front of him at the moment, a Max humbled by the weight of her own feelings. Logan took another breath and awkwardly caressed her bare arm with his gloved hand.

"Give him a few weeks, but he'll be as good as new, ready for his usual mischief. Ready for you to… kick his ass again for getting himself into trouble, huh?" He smiled at her, warmly.

Damn, he wished she'd still return his feelings. Unrequited love sucked pretty hard – as she might have put it… Logan's smile grew a little wistful at the thought.

Max didn't mind the touch of latex-covered fingers on her arm, didn't mind his closeness. She didn't mind Joshua never letting go of her hand, or Mole loitering by the door. She didn't mind any of this for it felt good, reassuring. As if she really wasn't that alone, in spite of her big brother being dead – of just another of her siblings simply gone, and Alec…

No. She had heard Logan, had heard him say the one thing that would make it bearable: Alec would live.

Alec was going to be alright.

She saw Logan's continuing smile turn into a knowing smirk, saw the sparkle of joy in the big fella's eyes, and heard Mole harrumph in an attempt to shake off the social awkwardness of the ensuing silence.

Logan's eyes said it all. That for Zack, help had indeed come too late – and it crushed that little quantum of hope that had so stubbornly refused to leave her. It finally did when she saw the bitter truth confirmed by Logan's sympathetic stare.

But she also saw the sincerity behind every word he had said, saw that Alec truly had survived – that he would live through this, like he lived through everything.

And she glimpsed something else, yet, in the depths of his eyes, mirroring all those nameless feelings that had put her whole being in turmoil: Logan _loved_, with every fiber of his being he loved, and so did she.

Only, she didn't love _him_.

She wouldn't have called it love, she would have denied everything right away, to anyone who would have listened. Even to herself. But as she was too exhausted, too drugged up after her own operation, she had to give in to well-needed sleep before being able to quench any acknowledgment of this strange emotion called love.

And so it had time to grow and manifest…

As she sank back into unconsciousness, Logan and Joshua sat on in silence, eyeing the petite woman lying with her dark curls spread out on the pillow, both never stopping to hold her hands.

"Uh," Mole's voice could eventually be heard, embarrassed hesitation in his tone. "I… better get back to Command before they shoot anyone out there, gotta – "

"You blaze, Mole," Josh murmured, only half listening because he was too intent on catching the sound of Max's every breath. "Joshua will make sure Max and Alec alright."

"Uh huh," his fellow transgenic uttered, face still an unreadable mask, and went out the door. For a moment he had to lean on the wall right next to it; then he went on. Better not check on Princess now, or Mole might still be in here by next morning.

* * *

It hurt. Like a bitch. Why the hell was he hurting so badly?

Alec grimaced with pain when the veil of unconsciousness lifted off of his mind for the first time in a couple of days. He wasn't yet ready to open his eyes to the world and decided to start assessing the state of things by using his other senses, instead.

_Touch_: he felt someone's hand in his, felt himself lying on a cushiony surface – a bed most likely, probably in a ward in a hospital if the pain was anything to go by; someone's light breath was tingling the skin at his throat; the warmth emanating from another's body not far away.

_Hearing_: he listened to the rhythm of his own heartbeat vibrating in his ears, loudly echoed by an annoying beeping sound on the outside. Whoever had invented those damn things monitoring your heart's every beat had surely never lain in a hospital themselves and tried to sleep through the pain undisturbed and peacefully… – Alec was pissed off already. Why did consciousness have to feel so damn uncomfortable? – There was more to hear, though, and trying to tell all sounds apart kept him occupied a little longer, enabling him to shove the pain away momentarily. His breath, sounding a bit more ragged than was surely desirable, and the even, almost inaudible noises accompanying his – visitor's? – breathing. He should better try to achieve that evenness if he wanted the pain to recede…

_Smell_: Hospital. Or something like it. Yeah, he'd know that clinical smell anywhere. A bit like Psy-Ops. Come to think of it: a bit like a whole lot of other places back at Manticore… Darn, that made him want to cringe. Not so easy if every movement felt like putting a dagger into your own chest.

Right. His chest. The bullet.

That guy, Zack.

He couldn't remember it all too clearly. Something about him and Max going to see Logan after that imager op. Something had gone wrong.

Well, obviously, smartass.

Max's face materialized in front of his eyes unexpectedly, just as he got aware of another, more pleasant smell entering his flared nostrils.

"Hey…" Max croaked out, her throat burning with every letter of that one word. "You with me now?" Man, she was so glad to see him awake eventually, she didn't even care that his eyes rolled back into his head a couple times before he finally managed to keep them open. She had lifted her head as soon as he had started to stir only seconds ago, leaving the spot right next to his neck still warm.

"Hey Max," he whispered, barely intelligible, and tried to raise an arm to gently touch the bandage around her neck. Thank god. She was alive.

He remembered it now. That moment he had seen her get shot, had seen her lie in this horribly huge puddle of blood. And that look in her eyes… so full of panic and … – it was so difficult to concentrate. Why was it so difficult to _think_? – He had been so scared she might die then. Downright paralyzed by fear.

"Ssshh," Max murmured in answer to Alec's restless shifting and the slight frown that had appeared on his face. "Don't move, It's okay. You're alright…"

He actually managed a smirk at that, "Stealing my words, Maxie? – Don't think that's fair – as I'm in – no position…" His breath was growing still more ragged with the increased pain speaking had caused, and he had to inhale deeply, taking his time.

"Shut up, smartass," she said, but the fact that she could only whisper hoarsely didn't exactly help in sounding authoritative. How could he be joking already? And without regard to his injury. That was so Alec, never once doing the sensible thing and just listen to her, shut up, and lie still.

Little did she know how hard he was fighting right then, fighting not to remember what he had seen that day, a dying Max. As he shifted again, she gently placed one hand over his bandaged chest, with the other one touching his face to calm him.

There was absolutely no way Alec could imagine himself going on in this world without her giving him a good kick for it every once in a while. He hadn't even realized it before, as she was always just _there_…

"Max," he tried, even that single word exhausting him so much he nearly drifted off into unconsciousness again. But she needed him, right? He had promised to himself he wouldn't leave her alone. "Your brother…" He had needed her to make it through and not get lost out in the world.

Max had had no one when she and her unit had gone separate ways back in '09, not really, anyways. Maybe now it was she who needed someone to show her the way…

"Ssshh, Alec," Max said almost soundlessly. Speaking wasn't exactly anything the doc had encouraged her to do, yet, and now she knew why. But Alec's imploring stare made it impossible for her not to tell him about Zack.

* * *

Max and Zack were sitting close to each other, talking. It felt so good to finally be able to spend some time with him. Although she felt homesick, and had started to quite considerably miss Logan.

Zack looked at her with his sad eyes. All the taking care of her and the others had left him worried too often in his young life. As if Manticore alone hadn't been enough already.

"I know I've been hard on you, Max, but I'm just trying to keep you safe," he said and leaned a little closer, taking her in.

She said, "I know," two short words acknowledging all the effort he had put into making sure she and her siblings were safe. Always. When he swept a strand of her hair back in an intimate gesture she felt so safe and secure as if no one could ever harm her again. Maybe she had always known that Logan never could have been that sort of safe haven for her. Through no fault of his, of course, they just hadn't been meant to be, not in this world. He had tried, had been so sweet and caring all the time. But a part of her had just known.

"A part of me wants the same things," Zack had eventually admitted that day, "friends... a place where I belong... someone to care about."

She wondered if he'd found all that in the end. Before leaving her a last time, before his eyes had started to glaze over, she had seen peace in those wide sad eyes.

Maybe he had found it.

* * *

"Sorry, Max…," Alec whispered and looked up at her, damning his weak body and his inability to lift himself up to pull her into a hug. She was sitting there by his side, crying like he'd only seen her do once before, big drops of tears falling down onto the front of her shirt. Don't cry, he wanted to say, but couldn't. She'd hate him for acknowledging her tears too openly anyways.

He was so tired. He felt sleep tugging at his eyelids again, but he couldn't let her sit there like that, alone in her misery. He couldn't leave her alone.

"Max." He closed his eyes and clenched his jaw before grabbing the mattress with both hands and pushing himself up into a sitting position. A light sweat had broken out on his forehead with the effort and he swept his palm over it once. By the time he made to place his arm across her shoulders she had stopped crying and was now staring at him disbelievingly. "What?" he mouthed, frowning a little flustered.

Max had only been up and about for two days herself and had spent most of those days here, with Alec. She had waited for the doctor to decide it was time to let him wake up from his drug-induced coma that they had administered in order to ensure his wound had time to heal sufficiently before any movement damaged the delicate tissue again. It had taken him so long to wake up, to get over this. Not by ordinary standards probably, but he was X5, and Max had expected him to get better sooner.

"Don't…," she made, now frowning herself. "You don't want to strain that wound and land yourself in surgery again, do you?"

"If it means you'll be here play – playing nurse when I wake up, I might – consider it…"

"Alec!"

Ouch, that had hurt. Shouted too loud. But damn, had it felt good to say his name like that again, with the usual dose of reproach in it, and answered by a typical Alec-smirk that made her smile. Then he suddenly reached out and touched her cheek with his warm hand, and she felt him gently wipe away her tears with one thumb, first on one, then on the other side, before he sunk back down, exhaustion showing on his face.

She thanked him wordlessly for not commenting on her having cried. Sometimes he was too good at knowing what she needed, it might have been one of the reasons she…

"Alec?" she said in a small voice, and stared out the window for a moment, wondering how much he remembered, how much he had heard.

"Hm?" came the sleepy reply. She noticed that he was fighting to stay awake, and smiled.

"About that night…"

"Yeah?" The intervals between closing and opening his eyes got longer, but he made an effort and managed to hold her gaze.

Max slowly leaned closer to him, gently taking his hand in hers, stroking his temple with the other one.

"What you said – _damn the consequences_ and all that, you've gotta live what life you get…"

"Uh huh."

"I…"

"S'all right, Max, I talk a – lotta crap, – you know I do… Don't – mind me, I never – "

She knew then that he hadn't heard her confession. Maybe it was for the better, she wouldn't have to feel awkward about it, embarrassed. Alec not knowing meant Alec not making stupid jokes about it, right? And she wouldn't be the talk of whole TC. And…

She sighed, staring down at his still form. His eyes were closed now, the rate of his breathing had decelerated into something that sounded a lot healthier, and the tension in his limbs had started to ease slightly.

She had lost so many already, had lost Zack now, nearly lost Alec…

She smiled a small smile, her mortification melting away slowly. He was alive, he was recuperating. He would be his old self again soon.

What was the worst that could happen now? Alec making fun of her?

Huh! So: damn the fucking consequences, right? Damn damn _damn_! And live your life – like Zack would have wanted you to.

"Just don't let me – mess with your… pretty head, Max…," Alec mumbled drowsily, already more than half asleep.

Max stroked his hair once more, laid her head down where it had lain before and whispered "The damage's already done, stupid…"

"Huh?" Alec's voice could be heard, before he opened his eyes again to stare at her, suddenly a lot more alert. Then his face broke into a small, uncertain smile...

* * *

**A/N 2: **It's been a blast, thanks again for all the attention. Suggestions, criticism (I KNOW; where to start…), thoughts, and ideas are always more than welcome and appreciated, no matter the time you're stumbling across this… (:

Hope you guys had a bit of fun reading this, too.


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